Fully face the speaker and make eye contact with them. Show them you’re listening by giving a small nod or making an “Uh huh,” sound to encourage them to keep talking. If they’re discussing a problem or concern, avoid inserting your opinions into the conversation unless the other person asks. Remember, they might not want you to fix their problems—they could be looking for a supportive ear. When you actively listen in a social situation, you’re more likely to fully understand it and pick up on important social cues from the other person, thus increasing your social awareness.
For example, if your coworker says, “I’ll never get this project done. It’s never-ending,” you could say, “Wow, you sound really overwhelmed!” This also helps you avoid miscommunications. If you paraphrase incorrectly, the speaker can easily let you know. For example, “No, I think I have control of the project. It’s just taking forever to finish!” Try asking questions too. Ask the other person if there’s something you don’t understand, or pose a compassionate question like, “Wow, that sounds rough. Is there anything I can do?”
Study their eyes. Eye contact indicates engagement. Looking away could mean they’re bored or nervous. If their eyes crinkle when they smile, they’re genuinely happy. [4] X Research source Crossed arms are a sign of defensiveness, anxiety, and lack of vulnerability. A relaxed, open posture indicates confidence. [5] X Research source People point their feet in the direction they want to go—so feet pointed at you means they probably like you. [6] X Research source Hands in pockets indicate nervousness. Supporting the head with both elbows on the table signifies boredom. People also often gesture unconsciously towards people they like. [7] X Research source Check if the other person’s body mimics yours after a few seconds. People who want to be friends with you tend to mirror your movements. [8] X Research source
If someone says “I’m fine” with a light, cheerful tone of voice, they’re likely being genuine. However, if someone says “I’m fine” in a quiet, low voice, they could be sad or upset. Familiarize yourself with different tones by testing your tone of voice. Repeat a sentence while imagining you feel a different emotion each time. How does “You scared me!” sound when you’re happy, shocked, angry, or sad?
For example, someone who says, “That’s great!” while slowly backing away probably doesn’t want to chat at the moment. A person leaning toward you, smiling, and making eye contact is likely genuinely interested in what you have to say, so take it as a nonverbal cue to continue. Notice when people are just being polite and when they have a genuine reaction. If your coworker is asked to do some extra work and they agree while sighing or avoiding eye contact, this may be an act of polite obligation.
If you’re normally closed-off and don’t display many emotions, make a conscious effort to be more open and honest about your feelings. Your emotions will be easier to analyze.
Demonstrate your empathy out loud. When you listen to someone, let them know (after they finish speaking) that you hear them and understand their feelings. For example: imagine your friend’s relative passed away. If you’ve never had a loss like that, consider how it’d feel and respond the way you’d like someone to respond to you. You might say, “I’m so sorry. How are you doing?” Try reading books and collecting stories from people. Hearing other people’s stories (fictional or real) helps us develop empathy because we’re given a glimpse of what it’s like to be that person.
For example, if a coworker tackles some work so you can leave early, be sure to recognize their good deed. You could say, “Thank you so much for doing that work! It was a huge relief. Let me know if I can return the favor. ” Gratitude also improves your mental health and the happiness of the people around you. The more you practice it, the more you understand the social power of simply being kind to others.
Your inner thoughts can give you an indication of how you feel. For example, if you think, “I have so much to do. The house is a mess, and company is coming!” you’re probably feeling stressed out. Try carrying a list of emotions with you. If you’re new to identifying emotions, a comprehensive list of them might help you identify what you’re feeling.
If you’re unsure what mistake you’ve made, tell a trusted confidante what happened. They may be able to give you some extra perspective. If you’ve accidentally upset someone, offer them an earnest apology. Tell them you understand why they’re upset and that you’ve learned from your mistakes. Remember to be kind to yourself. It’s important to hold yourself accountable, but forgive yourself too. Mastering social awareness will take time, and it’s natural to stumble a little in the process!
Your research will give you new insight into people’s lives in that culture and increase your awareness of the problems they face.
For example, working at a food pantry or soup kitchen can help you understand the needs and perspectives of people living in poverty. You could also visit elderly folks at a nursing home or tutor kids in an after-school program. Both positions would require you to assess peoples’ needs and help them to the best of your ability!
