Sports, whether that’s soccer, football, basketball, baseball, or something else. Exploring the woods. A yummy picnic is a great idea. Playing pretend. This can be dressing up and having a tea party or even fighting off a band of mean, sneaky pirates. Color, whether in a child’s or adult coloring book. Indulge in a favorite childhood treat, whether it is a favorite cereal, something your mom would make you, or a specific kind of candy. YA and/or fantasy novels, some of which are still read by adults. Examples include the Narnia series and the Time Quintet.

The abandoned child. This inner child often comes about as a result of parents divorcing or being too busy to spare attention. Or it can be severe, in the cases of abuse or neglect. Some of the clues are fears of being abandoned and feeling lonely or insecure. The playful child. This child is a healthy, often neglected aspect of adulthood. The playful child wants to have spontaneous fun and live life free from guilt or anxiety. The fearful child. This child probably received a lot of criticism as a child and experiences anxiety whenever it fails to get enough affirmation.

Sit quietly and tell your inner child that you want to know more about her, that you’re available to talk, and that you want her to feel safe. This may sound silly, but what you’re doing is accessing another part of yourself and your unconscious mind.

Throughout the day, check in with yourself. Ask, “what am I feeling right now?” Try to put words to these feelings.

Listen to her like you would an actual child in front of you. She’s just as real and her feelings matter just as much.

She may throw a tantrum or get sorrowful. You can accept these emotions without “giving in” to them. Acknowledge them and then move on without letting them dictate your actions.

For example, if your parents never gave you a birthday party, throw one for yourself. Invite your friends and tell them you’re making up for this part of your childhood. For another example, affirm yourself when you know you’ve done something you can be proud of. Say “I’m proud of myself and my achievements. "

Also, stay out of toxic situations. If being around specific people reinforces childhood anxieties, limit contact with those individuals. For example, if you have a brother who picks on you and makes you feel bad about yourself, avoid spending more time with him than necessary.

Use crayons, colored pencils, or colored paper to make things more fun.