Keep in mind, this may be illegal depending on where you live. Some states even make it a felony to snoop through someone’s personal communications without their consent. [2] X Research source If there are no backup files in Google Drive, the odds of accessing a deleted text are extremely low. If you want to turn this on for the future, open the Settings tab in your husband’s phone, tap “Connected Devices,” select “Backup,” and select “Back up now. ” Make sure that the SMS box is checked when you do this and Google will backup any texts in the phone. [3] X Research source If you have a Google One subscription, you can set it up to back the messages up automatically.
Many of the text recovery apps and programs for Android are paid, but SMS Backup and Restore are free. If he finds the app on his phone, you may have some explaining to do. This one doesn’t hide itself in his phone.
If you absolutely have your heart set on giving this a shot, you can try Android Data Recovery, Dr. Fone, Tenorshare UltData, or FonePaw. These are all computer programs that offer free trials and claim to be able to recover deleted texts. [6] X Research source They’re unlikely to recover anything, but at least you’ll be able to sleep easy without wondering if you could have pulled any texts off of his phone. [7] X Research source
If you aren’t already aware, you should know that it may be a crime to go through your husband’s phone depending on your state laws. You definitely want to make sure this is something you want to do before proceeding. [9] X Research source You have to restore an iPhone to see deleted messages. No matter which way you do this, your husband is likely going to know you restored his iPhone, so it’s best to have an explanation ready if you decide to do this.
You can use Finder to do this if you have a Mac with macOS Catalina or newer. The process is identical, but you open the menu for the phone after it pops up in Finder, not iTunes.
Some carriers even offer their own deleted-text retrieval programs (Verizon is one of the bigger carriers that does this).
He is very likely to find this app on his phone. This probably isn’t a good long-term solution. Be aware, it’s illegal to do this without someone’s consent in a lot of states. It’s also a huge violation of trust. It’s highly recommended that you don’t do this unless you have a very good reason. [16] X Research source
Again, depending on where you live, this may be highly illegal. It’s also probably unethical unless he’s really up to something and you know it and just need proof. In most cases, it is probably not a good idea to go this route, though.
In some states, it’s a felony to go through someone’s electronic communications—even if you’re married. You really have to make sure that this is something you’re willing to risk if you’re going to go through with it. [19] X Research source If you really do want to know something, hire a private investigator. That’s usually the safest way to legally get some info without breaking any laws.
You might say, “Hey, can we chat? You’ve been acting kind of funny lately and it’s secretly tearing me up inside. Is something happening that I need to know about?” You could try, “I’ve noticed you’ve been really guarded about your phone lately. Are you talking to someone that I wouldn’t approve of or something? What’s going on here?” You can also say, “Look, I feel like you’ve been distant lately. I’d really love it if you could open up to me and just tell me if something’s going on. ”
For example, you could say, “So, I’ve noticed you’ve been staying late at work a lot, and your face just lights up whenever you talk about the new sales rep. Are you cheating on me with her? It’s been tearing me up and I need to know. ” You could also say, “I hear the way you’ve been talking on the phone to that old friend of yours, and I know you’ve been deleting text messages. What’s happening here? If you’re having an affair, I deserve to know. ” It’s possible he really isn’t cheating and that you’re just misinterpreting things. Try to keep an open mind here.
Couples go to counseling together for all kinds of reasons—it isn’t necessarily a sign that your marriage is even in trouble. Think of relationships like cars; even if your car is perfectly fine, it needs a tune-up every now and then.
