What are your best qualities? What do you like to do with your time? What do you love about yourself? What would you like to work on? What makes you feel uncomfortable?
Try not to be too specific with this list of traits. For instance, instead of saying “six feet tall, brown hair, dark eyes,” focus on personality traits that matter to you. Do you want someone who’s honest to a fault? Someone who shares your passion for books? It may also be helpful to write down a list of definite “no’s. ” For example, you might not want a partner who travels six months out of the year, or someone who doesn’t get along with your family. Remember that the point here is not to craft a projection of your future partner; you’re just sketching out the basic qualities you’d enjoy having in a partner so you can understand your own needs better. Chances are, the person you end up loving will only have a few of the qualities on your list.
Don’t be judgmental. This is probably the most important rule when it comes to the beginnings of friendship and love. If you can’t get past someone’s dorky haircut, you’ll never know how well you would have gotten along with that person. The attraction doesn’t always have to be there the first time you meet someone. Be generous with your time. Making friends requires a bit of commitment. If you’re serious about finding love, get serious about spending time with people. Accept invitations to parties, sporting events, and concerts. If you aren’t much of a joiner, ask a few people out for lunch or coffee. The point is to create a lot of situations that give you the chance to get to know people - and it’s hard to do that from home.
Consider your appearance. When you’re looking for love, dress like the best version of yourself. Don’t force yourself into a style or look that makes you feel uncomfortable. Instead, project your confidence and uniqueness with clean, well-styled clothes and a pleasant expression on your face. The addition of a little perfume or cologne also helps to send out the right kind of signal. [3] X Research source Be an attentive and encouraging listener. If you find someone interesting, ask a lot of questions. Next time you see that person, follow up by recalling something he or she said and mentioning it at the beginning of the conversation. Show people you care about them. [4] X Research source Be honest and sincere. In other words, be yourself. Willingness to present yourself to the world as you are is an act of courage, and that’s attractive.
Joining a singles group at your religious center or school can help you circulate with other people who share your mindset. Bars and clubs are popular places to look for love, but if you want to find a longer-term relationship, you might find it easier to get to know people in places that facilitate conversation.
Try going with the classic date night: ask someone out to dinner. This will probably flatter your date and facilitate great conversation. Don’t put too much pressure on the format of the date - just focus on having a good time. Joke around and make your date feel good - the goal is to have fun! Think about whether you’d like to keep seeing this person. Does he or she seem to meet your most important needs? Is there a mutual attraction? If so, make plans to do something else together. If things keep going well, your relationship may take a deeper turn from here.
Don’t be too pushy. Remember that everyone is dealing with insecurities and personal issues, and sometimes signals just get mixed. Try not to take things too personally at this early stage. Texting and other forms of messaging may be the simplest ways to communicate, but you’re less likely to give each other the wrong impression in person, or even over the phone. Move things along with face to face interaction.
If the person is interested in continuing the relationship with you, you may be on your way to finding love. Love is built on affection, trust, attraction, mutual regard - and it all starts with people agreeing that they both want to pursue it. You’ll know you’ve attained it when you find you care about your partner on a deep, unselfish level, and that you probably always will. If there’s a lack of interest on the other side, it’s important to know when to drop it and move on. Unrequited love isn’t what you set out to find.
