If you have had bad luck with meeting others in bars or clubs, stay away from making connections in those places in particular. You can also consider online dating. Avoid sites that have stigmas for being hookup apps, like Tinder. Try something that is taken a bit more seriously.
Never dumb yourself down or pretend not to know something. Share your recent accomplishments with your loved ones and celebrate when they achieve milestones, as well.
You don’t need to tell someone on the first date that you want to get married; but they should know that you are not dating for fun or to be casual. You might say something like, “I’ve done the whole dating thing for a while and it’s fun but I’m looking for something more now. I’m dating to marry. ” They will respect your honesty and you can avoid wasting time on those who are not looking to be serious. If you are looking for a very close friend, communicate that, as well. This will help you avoid any confusion about your intentions.
Consider writing a pros and cons list and weighing both. In a relationship, the pros should always outweigh the cons. If the list goes very clearly one way, try not to second guess over overthink it. For instance, if there are two or three items on the pro side and 15 on the con side, don’t question whether or not you are being fair or if you should give the person a chance — move on.
Recognize that boundaries are typically not something you can compromise on, as these are typically your limits. If your partner cannot respect your boundaries, and your boundaries are reasonable, consider ending the relationship. In a friendship, your friend might expect that you keep anything they tell you between the two of you.
Continue to maintain strong friendships and devote yourself to your work. Explore some hobbies apart from your partner.
Be honest with one another and avoid lying. Try to discuss issues as they happen and avoid going to bed upset. Do give one another some time to cool down, however. Don’t interrupt or talk over your partner. Allow them space to speak. Listen to hear, not to respond.
For instance, perhaps you always go to a certain restaurant on Saturdays but your partner wants to try something new. A compromise would be for you to take turns picking the restaurant you go to on Saturdays or to go out separately or with friends.
Help them with a project they are working on or bring them lunch randomly one day.
If you have a question for your partner about something, ask them openly and directly. Remember that love and trust go hand in hand.
Practice self care. Spend time on your hobbies. Take time out of your schedule every day for yourself. If you struggle to prioritize your needs, consider finding a counselor to help you build your own unconditional love for yourself.
Allow your partner to be themselves. Tell them how their behavior makes you feel, but don’t try to control them. If they are listening to you, they will likely make the change themselves.
Don’t turn away their affection or acts of kindness. Instead, focus on showing them how much you appreciate them.
