If the note is handwritten, look at the handwriting on it. Compare the handwriting with the writing of people that you know. Think about your friend, your crush, or the person who sits next to you in English class. If you have gotten an email or chat message from someone that you don’t know, look at the email address or screen name. The person may not have used a personal account to send you the message, but you might be able to draw clues from the name that he or she chose.
Before the flowers or gift arrived, did anyone ask you questions about where you are likely to be at a certain time?[2] X Research source If your secret admirer gave you a plate of fresh cookies, they probably likes to bake. Think about the people you know—especially anyone that you suspect might have a crush on you—and whether or not they like to bake. If your secret admirer gave you a mix CD, they probably care a lot about music. Think about the music lovers in your life. Keep an eye out for people who are always humming, or who always have headphones plugged into their ears. Think about the songs on the mix: they probably include some of your admirer’s favorite songs, so you might be able to identify him or her by her music taste. If your secret admirer bought you something from a store, consider just asking the clerk who bought that item.
If your secret admirer left a note in your locker at school, there’s a good chance that he or she goes to your school and has seen you using your locker. If your secret admirer left a gift at your house, he or she either knows you well or found out your address from someone else. If you suspect that a specific person is your secret admirer, but they were home sick from school on the day that you found the note, then that person may not be the admirer. He or she may, however, have asked a friend to place the note. The note may also have been planted a day or two before you found it.
Get to know your admirer via chat or email. Ask questions. Without being pushy, try to get your admirer to reveal his or her true identity. Avoid leaving personal notes out where anyone could find them. Not only does this reduce the chances of your admirer actually finding the note, but it opens up the possibility of someone else finding the note and using that information to mess with you.
Does your admirer say a certain word or phrase a lot? For example, maybe he or she says “awesome” a lot during your chats, or maybe uses the word “totally” to emphasize points in a handwritten note. Think about people you know who use that phrase often. Does your admirer make spelling mistakes? If you can identify any, do you know anyone who makes those spelling mistakes? For example, you might notice that a friend of yours always misspells “definitely” as “definetely. "
Try to notice whether anyone has been staring in your direction a lot. If so, pay a little bit more attention to them. Look into their eyes and give a sly smile. If this person shows any more signs of attraction, he or she might be your admirer.
If someone left a note or delivery at your doorstep, ask your neighbors if they saw the deliverer. If so, ask for the deliverer’s physical appearance.
Look at their eyes when you ask. See if you can spot any visible changes. Do you see the person’s pupils getting smaller? Any signs of blushing or flushing, or the maybe-admirer moving his or her head back slightly? If the person repeatedly denies that they are your secret admirer, then they’re probably telling the truth. Do not push them. Keep looking.
Consider whether you really want to know. Deep down, maybe you want them to remain secret so as not to burst the bubble. Sometimes it can be reassuring to have a secret admirer in the background.
If your secret admirer is not who you had hoped, be kind and turn them down gently. They will probably admire you even more for your honesty. Be direct and straightforward. Don’t play with their emotions.
If you are patient, there’s a good chance that your secret admirer will get over the shyness and reveal him or herself. You may be the object of their affection, but that doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to go seek them out. Try to not to build up a fantasy in your head. Your admirer could be anyone, and you don’t want to get your feelings hurt if he or she doesn’t turn out to be the person you expect.
