Think about how you spend your time and energy. Look at what you do every day, and try to parse out the things that fulfill you from the things that feel pointless. Think about how you can cut those meaningless activities out of your life. Try setting these thoughts down on paper. Write about your life, or make a list; draw a chart or map that describes how all of your passions and commitments are connected. You may find that a visual representation helps you understand your situation.
Perhaps you’ve always dreamed of being a musician, but you have no idea how you’d ever get to that point. Try something simple: take a music lesson, and buy or borrow a cheap instrument. Make a commitment to yourself to try it out for a few weeks. Maybe you feel stuck, and you want to move to a different city. Do something small that feels like a step in that direction: visit a new city to scope it out, or look for jobs and housing in your spare time. Your vision will only become real if you put it into practice.
Getting started along your way can be as basic as deciding to try something out. Intention is a powerful thing.
Catch yourself each time that you make an excuse. Learn to recognize the signs: perhaps you plan to do great things, but you give in to self-doubt when the moment comes. Embrace your fears; eat your fears; use them as fuel.
Remind yourself that you will not find your way if you are riddled with self-doubt. You will need to make a choice, and you will need to step boldly into your future.
If you choose to forego all other opportunities in pursuit of one goal or path: try to stick to your choice, but give yourself the space to open yourself back up. If you are going to commit wholeheartedly to a single job or focus, however, you may need to close some of the other doors. If you decide to split your time between two passions—say, music and psychotherapy—you may find yourself facing a hard, if meaningful, path. You will need to be especially disciplined if you want to keep on top of both goals.
Remember: this thing doesn’t need to be your only passion, and it doesn’t have to be the only place to which you direct your energy! Your way can be a mix of many things.
It can be stressful to handle new information that contradicts or disproves what you’ve been taught. Remember: this doesn’t necessarily mean that you must cast away everything you’ve been taught – merely that it pays to be conscious. Carefully consider each truth, and decide which truths serve your larger purpose. Be aware that questioning certain beliefs may alienate you from peers and family members. If you’ve grown up deeply involved in a religious tradition, your family and community may not approve of you refuting that tradition.
Sometimes, you may find that other people are holding too much sway over your choices. Consider whether this plays into why you feel lost.
If it isn’t perfect, don’t be afraid to let it go and wait for something that you really want. For instance: don’t marry your first boyfriend if it doesn’t feel right. Don’t take the first job that someone offers you without looking at the other options. On the other hand, be wary of chasing perfection. Sometimes, it’s best to choose the option that’s in front of you. If you wait too long, you might let dozens of great opportunities pass you by!
