Use a specific compliment like “I really like the way your sweater brings out the colour in your eyes. " A specific compliment is tailored to the girl and is more than just “you’re cute,” or “you’re attractive. " Another good way is to notice the way she puts together her outfits. If she’s wearing a pair of awesome earrings say something like “Those earrings look really good on you. You have great taste. " Do not, do not, do not, make a sexual comment (“nice rack,” or “I’d hit that”) unless you know the girl really well and she has accepted that sort of comment. Most girls find that sort of comment creepy.
A few good words to try: “radiant,” “breathtaking,” “elegant,” “riveting,” or “dazzling” to name a few. You could even use something like “incredibly” which could mean both her appearance and her personality and accomplishments.
Tell her something like “I love the way you brighten up any party and manage to make everything more fun just by being there. " Or note how kind and generous she is. If she helps out her friends and family all the time, you could say something like “It’s amazing how much you do for other people. Just make sure to take some time to care for yourself!” You’ll both show that you notice what she does and who she is, but you’ll also show that you care about her.
If she plays an instrument or sings, ask her to perform for you. Praise her ability when she’s finished. Make sure it’s specific. You could say something like “I love the way you’re so amazing at holding those high notes. " If she’s just beat a difficult video game, tell her how impressive that is. (Do NOT say “You’re really good for a girl;” that is not a compliment. ) If she’s just done something like completed her dissertation, or gotten her PHD, compliment her on her chosen field and how much work she has put into achieving her goals.
For example, you could say something like “I find it really easy and fun to talk to you. " Another example: “Nobody else can make me laugh the way you do. " You’re drawing attention to something specific and wonderful that she does and framing it in a way that makes your unique and important to you.
If she does a lot of artistic type work (of any kind, writing, visual arts, photography, music, etc) tell her that you think she’s incredibly creative. Even better, give a specific example of her creativity. Say something like “I love the way you used the green in that painting; it really stood out beautifully. "
If you know she’s interested in politics, engage her on the subject. Tell her that she really makes you think. Especially ask for her opinion on something that you know she’s an expert on. If the woman you’re complimenting is a marine biologist, for example ask her opinion on something to do with the ocean.
If she likes flowers, get her a lovely bouquet of her favorites. By getting her favorites you show that you’ve been paying attention to her likes and dislikes (flattery in and of itself) rather than just reverting to the old red rose stereotype (although some women do like roses, of course). If she’s a gardener you could get her some seed packets she’s been wanting for a while, or a new pair of gloves. If she loves to write, or writes in a journal or diary, get her a lovely notebook or special pen. Again, the token should be something that’s specific to her as a person and to what she likes.
If she’s been having trouble with a roommate or a family member, make sure to ask her how it is going with them. It’ll show that you care and that you’re paying attention. If she’s been talking about getting a new haircut, or piercing, or tattoo, compliment her when she actually gets it done. Say something like “Your new haircut really frames your face in a great way” or “That tattoo is so creative and gorgeous. Did you design it yourself?”
Ask her to help you with a project that appeals to her strengths. For instance, if she’s really good at interior design, ask her for some ideas on how to make your living space better or more comfortable. If she’s good with web design, ask her help designing the webpage for your new novel, your new company, or simply a blog.
Say something like “You always pick the best food, why don’t you choose where we’ll eat. " Ask her to help you pick out some clothes (if that’s something she likes to do). Tell her that you’re no good at it and that she has such a great eye you’d love it if she’d go shopping with you. You’ll get to spend more time with her and you’ll get to show her how important her skills and her opinions are to you.
If she’s going through a busy period with work, school, or some outside interest, offer to bring her dinner and to clean up afterwards (bonus points if you make it yourself). If she’s running some sort of event, volunteer some of your time to helping her make it a success. She won’t forget that you were there for her and she’ll be flattered that you took an interest in what she’s working on. Don’t only offer to do things that are self-serving to you. If she’s really stressed and you offer her a massage and she says no, find a different way to show your appreciation for her like asking what she needs.
For example: If you say something nice about her appearance and she doesn’t respond well, let it go. Don’t badmouth her simply because she didn’t respond to your flattery. Remember: just because you’ve said something nice, or done something nice does not mean that she owes you anything.
