A bit of casual flirting with your boss might attract just enough extra attention to land you that key assignment you were hoping for, or help you secure a more desirable shift. Of course, this could also backfire depending on the culture of your workplace.
Even after-hours interactions with your boss can be used as a legal basis for one or both of you to be fired, so beware![1] X Research source Research the relationship guidelines in your workplace before proceeding with any workplace flirtations. If they aren’t published, ask an HR person for assistance. If you are afraid to make these inquiries because you fear that people will gossip, remember that they will gossip even more if you get involved with your boss, so factor that into your decision.
Try to catch your bosses eye in a meeting and hold their gaze a bit longer than you normally would. When your boss addresses you, be sure to look her directly in the eye when they speak to you. Create more opportunities for eye contact by intentionally walking past your boss’s office more often, or arranging in person meetings in lieu of phone calls or emails. Note that it takes more than a single passing glance to get the message across. It might take between 3 and 13 soulful looks for your boss to realize that you are trying to signal attraction. [5] X Research source Too much eye contact, however, can quickly become creepy, so be attentive to how you are being received. If your boss tries to avoid your gaze or seems shifty or uncomfortable, be sure to back off.
By definition, it’s hard to rehearse a genuine smile, but if you want to see what yours looks like, try thinking of something really funny and then looking in the mirror.
Don’t overact on this one. Being genuine is more important than being attentive. Mimicking your boss’s body language as you talk is a great non-verbal way to show you are paying attention.
Offer a handshake and a smile at the end of a meeting. Try a gentle, brief touch on the forearm or the shoulder when speaking with your boss. If your boss makes a joke, laugh and place your hand on her forearm. Linger for a second before removing it. Avoid any overtly affectionate or sexual touching in the workplace. This includes shoulder rubs, hugs, placing a hand on someone’s knee, etc. Even if the contact is desired, it could still get your fired.
Remember that in many cases, your employer has the right to track and examine any emails you send or receive using a company-owned computer, or even texts and calls made from a company phone. [10] X Research source If your flirting is reciprocated and does proceed to the texting/emailing stage, remember to conduct your interactions using your personal computer and/or phone, and email accounts.
Ask your boss to join you for coffee or lunch, and bring up the subject there. Broach the subject gradually, and leave yourself an exit in case you misread the situation. For example, you might begin with some work-related small talk and work towards the inquiry: “What do you think about office relationships?” Your boss’s answer to this should give you a pretty clear indication as to whether you should proceed or back off. Remember: if it turns out you misread things and your boss is not interested, you will have a lot less to be embarrassed about from a straight-forward conversation than if you had attempted to kiss them, or worse.
