Choose a type of routine you like, as you’ll be more likely to stick to it. If you hate running, don’t commit to a weekly run. Instead, go for a bike ride after work. Start any new workout routine slowly. You may want to talk to your doctor first, especially if it’s been awhile since you worked out regularly.
Think about something you used to do that got away from you. Maybe you used to be an avid knitter, but got busy with other things. Try taking up a knitting project again after breaking up with your ex. If you can’t think of any old hobbies, try a new one. Find something you enjoy that you’ve never tried before. For example, maybe you could join a sports league. A new hobby can easily help you get your mind off your ex.
In a relationship, you get used to having someone around all the time. With a significant other, you feel like someone is always a text or a phone call away. When things end, you may find yourself wishing for that closeness again. Remember, you do have people in your life. You have friends and family members who care about you. Reach out to them on your bad days. Do something fun that will take your mind off your ex.
Do not panic if you occasionally think about your ex. Instead of thinking, “I need to not think about this. Why am I letting this get to me?” stop and accept the thoughts. Think something like, “It’s normal to still feel sad sometimes. I’m going to let myself experience these thoughts. " Instead, allow yourself to experience the thoughts for a few minutes. Remind yourself why you’re upset, but ultimately better off. Remember, this person cheated on you and broke your trust. You’re better off without him.
Try saying something to yourself like, “This was his decision. I could not have stopped it and I did not cause it. ”
Obviously, the infidelity is a major flaw. However, that is not something you have to focus your energies towards if it makes you sad. You can think about small things. For example, “I hate that he always made us late to movies” or “I hate that he clipped his toenails in the living room. " Allow yourself to be a little petty.
Avoid the temptation to call him in moments of weakness. If you’re upset and need to vent, turn to friends over your ex-boyfriend. You should only reestablish contact when you’re ready to have a relationship again. Keep in mind, however, you may never feel ready for a relationship again. Many people struggle to stay friends with their exes. It’s okay if you do not want this person as a friend.
Try to limit your venting, however. You do not want to end up upsetting yourself by making your ex the subject of too many conversations. Talk a little about your ex to these friends. Then, discuss other topics that help you forget and move on.
If necessary, have an action plan in place when you feel the need to dig up details. You can think of something specific to do instead. For example, instead of going through your ex’s Facebook posts, have a video game to play instead.
Taking a long bath. Listening to some of your favorite music. Writing in a journal or drawing. Reading a book or watching a movie. Spending time with your pet or with family members.
Anxiety-inducing thoughts get worse if you’re hungry, tired, dehydrated, or deprived in other ways. Stick to your regular routine to keep your mood as good as possible. You should also find healthy ways to deal with stress. Avoid things like heavy drinking. Instead, get a small treat to eat. Go to a spa for a day. Treat yourself to a new outfit.
Remind yourself you actually want to be happy in moments when you feel yourself getting sad. This will help you tune out the small frustrations in favor of embracing the future. For example, you see a romantic Facebook post from your ex’s new romantic interest. Instead of getting angry, say, “I want to be happy. " You will remember your goal is happiness, and you’ll find other things to focus on.
Write a list of all your good qualities. Jot down everything in your life that makes you feel valuable and happy. Then, write down things you have to be grateful for. Think about things like your friends and family members.
Tell yourself you’re going to meet someone better. Everyone goes through breakups, and everyone sometimes feels they will not recover. However, you’re bound to eventually find someone who is kinder to you than your ex was. Each time you start feeling bad about your ex, say something to yourself like, “It’s okay. I can and will do better. "
Make a list of things you like about yourself. This can help you remind yourself you have value. Think about your current relationships. Remind yourself you’re lucky to have close friends and family members who value you, even if someone else hurt you. Remember everything you do right. Congratulate yourself for your recent successes and take stock of your talents and abilities.
