This doesn’t mean you’re being weak by any means. In fact, it takes strength to admit that you’re not feeling so strong. Let your friends know that you’re upset. There’s no need to fake happiness, which will take up more of your energy anyway. If you don’t feel like going for a while, that’s fine. Though you shouldn’t wallow by yourself for too long, there’s nothing wrong with staying in for a few days – or a few weeks. Write your feelings down in a journal. This can help you deal with your emotions without sharing them with the world.
Make a list of all of the terrible things about the guy if you have to. Carry it around with you and look it over any time you’re feeling weak. If you really think that the guy is perfect, then chances are that you don’t know him very well after all.
Any time you feel like you really need him, just remember all the bad times you shared together. Do you really want any more of that? It’s easy to look at the past with rose-colored glasses and to tell yourself that you and the guy were absolutely perfect together. In reality, there must have been many less-than-ideal moments that you spent together, or you’d still be standing hand-in-hand, wouldn’t you?
Look at it this way: maybe you made some mistakes with this guy, but you can’t go back into the past to change them. However, it wasn’t for nothing – you can learn from these mistakes and feel more mature and level-headed when you enter your next relationship.
Learn to recognize those bitter feelings. Whenever you feel one bitter sentiment coming on, fight it with at least three positive thoughts. Sure, you may be thinking of something horrible the guy did to you, but fight that feeling by remembering three amazing, unforgettable things that your friends or family members have done for you recently. You can always find something to be happy about if you try hard enough.
It can take a long time to realize that you deserve someone better, and you may even feel offended or annoyed if your friends keep telling you this if you don’t see it. Sometimes, you won’t see what you deserve until you enter a new healthy and supportive relationship with a guy who is worthy of you (after getting over the first guy, of course).
Think about the things you loved about yourself the most before you met the guy – can you return to them? Make a list of your favorite qualities and show them off. Build your confidence up until you see that you are an amazing person, whether you’re with the guy or not.
Write down all of the things you have to be grateful for and add to your list whenever you think of something new. Read over the list every now and again whenever you need to cheer yourself up. You’ll see that your life is well worth living without the guy, and he will slowly fade out of the picture.
Take his number out of your phone if you have to. Be polite if you see him in the same place, but don’t go out of your way to make conversation. Avoid places where he’s likely to be if you can.
And if you see mutual friends or people who know him, avoid the temptation to ask how he’s doing. What good will that do you?
Know your triggers and make a plan to move around them. Take a different route to school to avoid the place where you had your first kiss if you have to.
If you can’t resist the urge to see what he’s up to every time you turn on your computer, then you may have to try to steer clear from social media for a while. That will do you good, anyway – you can clear your head and focus on living in the moment instead of obsessing over what all of your friends are up to.
If it’s too painful for you to get rid of his things, then have a good friend help you do it.
If you have the same group of friends, see if you can be mature and “take turns” hanging out with them; sure, talking about this is a little awkward, but it’s better than having to hang out with him and feel like someone is driving a stake into your heart every time you make eye contact.
Even sitting in a new seat in class or walking down a new path on the way home can help you break your pattern of thinking.
Start small, find the comfort in spending time with the people who know you the most, and gradually start to spend more time with the people you love. You may even feel like you should spend more time socializing than usual. That’s great, if you’re up to it – spending more time with your friends will make you forget the guy faster.
If you don’t have a passion, this is the perfect time to find your passion. Use some of your free time to try something completely new and out of your comfort zone and see if you’ve found a new interest that captivates you.
Plan dates with yourself and do something relaxing and fun. Take a hot bath, watch your favorite movie – the one that everyone thinks is too corny anyway – and relish the fact that you can decide exactly what you want to do. You won’t be ready to fully get over the guy or find someone new until you truly find peace on your own.
When you’re busy working out your body, you won’t have time to worry your mind over the guy. If you’re just sitting still all day, you’ll be much more likely to keep thinking about him. You can also switch up your routine and get a great workout by trying a form of exercise you’ve always wanted to try. Have you been eyeing that rock wall at your gym? Wishing you knew the rules to tennis? Try out something completely new – it can help you get out of your funk.
Make sure you leave the house at least once or twice a day if you want to start forgetting the guy.
Don’t jump into a relationship with the first person you see right away or you’ll just suffer again. Rebound relationships almost never work.
You’ll see that all of the pain you went through to forget the guy was worth it – you’ll know that you came out stronger on the other side.
