Use chapstick. Swipe some over your lips and press them together. [2] X Research source (If you’re a girl and you have flavored chapstick, all the better!) The only caveat is that you should apply lip balm or gloss an hour or more before you kiss, so your kissing partner feels your soft lips, not the thick layer of gloss over them. Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration, so throw back a tall glass of water (or two). [3] X Research source You should notice your lips starting to smooth out within 20 to 30 minutes. Lick your lips. If you’re really in a pinch and have no time to spare, quickly run your tongue over your lips and press them together. This should moisten them slightly without making them slobbery or slick. [4] X Research source You can even lick your lips a bit subtly while making eye contact with your kissing partner.
You have complete privacy. Whether you’re alone on your balcony or sitting on a secluded bench in a park, you’re not worried that someone will interrupt you. The other person keeps dropping hints, like locking eyes and looking at your lips, or standing or sitting progressively closer to you. Regardless of your partner’s gender, their body language should give you a clue about whether now is the right time to make your move. [7] X Research source You’re ending a date that went really well. In the car or on the porch are both good semi-private locations for a goodnight kiss. It just seems right. If you feel overwhelmingly compelled to kiss someone, don’t be too afraid to just go for it. (Just be prepared for an awkward or even troubling situation if you discover your intended didn’t feel the same way. ) Ask. If you aren’t sure whether the other person is feeling it, bring up the topic. Better to get permission semi-awkwardly and go ahead with confidence than risk missing out on your chance to kiss that special someone (accidentally kiss someone who isn’t interested).
Girls can even look at a guy, look down, and then look up through their lashes to be extra flirtatious.
You can opt for a close-lipped smile instead of smiling while showing your teeth, which might come off more as friendly than alluring or romantic.
You can also break the touch barrier as you’re moving in to kiss the person. If you’re standing, you can touch the person’s arms, neck, or shoulders as you move in for the kiss. If you’re sitting, you can put a hand on the person’s back.
Take it slow. The slow approach builds tension and anticipation. Move in at a pace that gives the other person a chance to consent (or not). [10] X Research source When they see you coming in, they may move to meet you, so going slow will prevent you from accidentally bumping heads.
Unlike what you may think from the movies, this doesn’t have to happen in slow motion. You’ll tilt your head as you move closer to the person, not at a snail’s pace, so you don’t have to worry about having the time to get it perfect.
You can slowly open your eyes later, when you pull apart after the kiss.
Pucker just a little. Push your lips forward slightly, so that you feel the slightest hint of muscle tension around them. Open your mouth slightly. Instead of aggressively going in for a fully open-mouthed kiss at first, keep your lips just barely parted enough that a tongue could slip between them.
Keep your movements slow. A lot of quick, light kisses don’t have the same level of sexiness as a barely-restrained build in tension. Act like you have all the time in the world—the kiss will speed up soon enough.
Open your mouth more widely. Offering unrestricted access invites the other person to make the first tentative tongue contact. Lock lips, so that the other person’s lower lip is between your two lips. Then, lightly sweep the tip of your tongue over the lower lip. Do one smooth, swift motion so that the contact lasts for less than a second. If they are interested, they’ll reciprocate. [14] X Research source Know when to pull back. If you’ve tried both of the above techniques and your partner hasn’t responded, simply leave it alone until next time and focus on regular kissing. Avoid making a big deal of it, or guilting them.
Stay playful. “Tag” the other person’s tongue lightly and retreat back, inviting them to make the next move. Tongues are loaded with nerve endings, and the mere act of touching your partner’s tongue with your own will be very pleasant. [15] X Research source Don’t go too deep — jamming your tongue down the other person’s throat is a big turn-off. Stay shallow and light at first. See how far your partner wants to go, and follow suit.
Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. Don’t be afraid to take a break. If you do it right, it can still be an intimate and sexy moment. Pull back slightly so that your foreheads are still touching, make eye contact, and smile. As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
Speed: Varying the speed of your kisses is a good way to try something different without potentially intimidating your partner. Once you’ve got the slow kiss mastered, try going a little faster for a few seconds — it should leave you both a little breathless! Depth: Once you’re comfortable with someone, try kissing a little more deeply. The key to pulling this off is keeping your speed under control. Or, if you want things to be a little more flirty and playful, return to shallow kisses. Pressure: Like a deep kiss, a hard kiss should be reserved for a situation in which you already know both you and your partner are comfortable. Be a little bit more forceful with your tongue, but be sure to keep it in motion. [16] X Research source Teeth: You may want to try rubbing the backs or front of the other person’s teeth with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. You could also try lightly catching the other person’s lower lip with your teeth. Be aware, though, that not everyone likes their kisses with a side of teeth — be prepared to put your chompers away.
As a general rule, start with your hands on your partner’s hips and then slowly move them around their back or up to the face and hair. Another turn-on for the first kiss is to gently caress the other person’s shoulder. It shows you are comfortable with them. Cradle your partner’s face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck. Or, go for an old standby: simply wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace.
Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that’s comfortable for each of you. If your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down. Let your partner kiss you back and move with them as long as you’re comfortable with what they are doing. Listen for clues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, you’re on the right track.
Don’t take yourselves too seriously, either. If you tried something that just plain failed, it’s okay to laugh, to lightly apologize, and to try again. If you act devastated after a disappointing kiss, you’ll only be making things weird for your partner, and there’s no need for that. Most first kisses, like most first attempts at love-making, aren’t anything to write home about. Part of the fun is getting better at it — together.
Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together! The important thing is that you’re both honest about how you’re feeling and what you want to do to improve. You should also communicate by telling your partner how attractive they look, and how much you like them. Make it clear how happy you are to be with the person you’re with and the French kissing will come all the more naturally. If communication feels hard, get expert help with wikiHow’s course: How to Talk about Sex (Without Feeling Awkward). This expert course is created by a Sex and Relationship Psychologist, and it will walk you through how to talk to your partner about kissing, sex, and other intimate activities.
