For example, you may find that she loves the same types of movies that you’re passionate about. Try catching movies at the same time so you run into her and have something to talk about. Of course, if you’re crushing on a girl who’s in a relationship and you don’t even know her that well, it’s probably best to keep it that way. Why invite unnecessary temptation?
Realize that this won’t happen overnight (if it ever happens). You’ll probably need to spend a considerable amount of time together to form an attachment.
Just paying attention to her will signal to her that you care about her. This will increase her feelings of friendliness towards you, even if she’s in a romantic relationship. Being a supportive friend can actually encourage the girl to reconsider her current relationship. She may realize that you make a better partner. [4] X Research source
For example, if she competes in several sports but you don’t enjoy being athletic, don’t pretend to enjoy or participate in sports for her sake. If you feel the need to lie to be more attractive to her, consider that maybe she’s just not right for you.
For example, you could go out for coffee, buy music together, check out a farmer’s market, or just go shopping. Even group hangs can give you opportunities for one-on-one time: for instance, at dinner with friends, try to sit next to her so you can carry on private conversations and joke around together.
The classic is giving the girl flowers or something romantic like a poem, but don’t default to clichés unless you know she’ll enjoy it. Depending on what she likes, you could do something original that she may appreciate more than flowers: for example, if she’s really interested in original artwork, paint her something. Don’t worry that whatever you give her isn’t professional quality or expensive. The point of the romantic gesture is to signal your feelings for her.
If you’re anxious about hinting to her in person, consider texting or calling her. You might find that you have more courage when communicating electronically. This will also give her a little time to process her feelings and respond to you.
If she doesn’t respond well to your flirting, consider moving on. If she does like the flirting, continue paying her attention and trying to spend more time together. Flirting is fun, of course, but ask yourself if you’d like to date someone who flirts with other people behind your back. [9] X Research source
Are you really looking for a romantic relationship? Or is she just attractive to you because she’s “forbidden fruit”?[11] X Research source If she rejects you, are you prepared to move on emotionally if she remains in her current relationship? Realize that even if she still wants to be friends after you’ve confessed your feelings, her current partner might not be happy about it (understandably so). The level of commitment of her current relationship may tell you whether it’s worth it to insert yourself into it: if she’s married, it’s almost always best not to meddle. But if she’s just in a short-lived fling, it may not be a big deal to tell her how you feel. . . but then again, it may be worth just waiting it out, too.
“Rebecca, I really enjoy spending time with you, and I think I like you as more than a friend. I understand if you don’t feel the same, but I just thought you should know. ” “Meera, I think I’ve got feelings for you. I know you’re with someone already, but I wanted to let you know how I feel in case you maybe felt the same way. If not, I promise it’s OK, and I won’t bring it up again. ” “Jolie, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well lately, and I’ve really liked being your friend. But I think I’ve fallen for you. I understand if you can’t reciprocate, and I’ll always be your friend if you still want that, but I wanted to tell you in case you maybe felt the same. ”
Understand that the odds are probably not in your favor: if she’s in a relationship with someone else, it’s likely because she wants to be. Reassure her you understand where she’s coming from and that you won’t bring it up again. Understand that confessing your feelings was risky, and she may not feel comfortable hanging out with you as much anymore. Try to accept this. If she reciprocates your feelings…well, then, mazel tov!
Even if she still wants to be friends and her partner is OK with it, ask yourself if it’s serving you to stay close to her. It may help you to get over her if you spend less time with her, and maybe even try seeing someone else. Be good to yourself. Falling for someone is nerve-wracking on its own, but falling for someone you can’t have can be brutal. Don’t torture yourself by waiting for her: move on. You’re worth it.
