For example, if he keeps trying to get you to go on a date and you want him to stop, you might say “look, I’m sorry but I am not interested in dating you, can you please stop asking?” If the honest reasons may actually hurt the individual (such as if you find him annoying), re-phrase the reason to make it less hurtful. For example, if he asks why you will not date him, instead of saying something along the lines of “I find you annoying” you could say, “our personalities clash and I do not think we get along that well”. This removes the emphasis from his character and places it on the particular dynamic that occurs between the two of you.
For example, if he still is still pursuing you even though you have said your personalities do not match, you might say “I have told you that I am not interested a number of times and I feel like you aren’t listening, which is making me feel uncomfortable and nervous. "
Rather than saying “I’m not interested in dating you right now” close the door entirely by saying “I am not interested in dating you”. [3] X Research source
Let him know that you are taking detailed notes about his actions toward you. Keep a record of all of the communications attempts he makes.
When he approaches you again, try looking away, slouching, fidgeting, or yawning, to signal that you are not interested. Be careful not to accidentally signal interest with body language such as leaning in or laughing. [4] X Research source
For example, if he texts you and asks you how you your day is going and whether you want to go for dinner, you might ignore answering the question about your day and just say “thanks for the offer but no thanks!”
If, after you say no to his date requests, he tries to make you feel guilty by saying things such as “I’m going through a hard time right now so you saying no really stings” keep in mind that guilt can misfire and lead you to make poor decisions. Just because you are stopping your communications does not mean you should delete the communications he sends you, particularly if you feel that you are or may be stalked by this individual, in which case it is a good idea to have a record of all communications should you need them for legal purposes.
If the person you are telling knows the individual who is giving you unwanted attention, be sure to remind whoever you are confiding in to be discreet and to not share the information beyond who you say is OK to tell.
If this is a work-related matter, check with your human resources department about what resources are available for situations involving unwanted attention from a co-worker. If this is a school-related matter, check in with your teacher or principal to find out how they can help you navigate the situation you are in. If you feel that you are being stalked, consider getting the police involved.
