Think about his behavior in the weeks before the breakup. This will help you determine if the relationship can be saved. If it was a sudden breakup resulting from a disagreement, then he just may need some cooling off time. If the relationship had been going wrong for months, then consider if trying to get him back is worth the effort.
If the fight was physical, understand that physical violence is never okay. It is not a good idea to get back into a relationship with someone who uses physical violence against you. Alternatively, it is never okay to use violence against a partner. Seek help from friends, family, and possibly a doctor if you have or have had thoughts about harming your partner.
If he cheated, consider if you could truly forgive him. You may be reacting emotionally if the breakup was recent. If you cheated, consider if trying to get him back is fair to him. The betrayal of cheating is difficult for most people to get past. There was probably a root cause for the cheating. It is possible that the one who did the cheating was not satisfied in the relationship.
He could have lost interest because one of you changed. You may have gone through a temporary change due to difficult circumstances, or you may have changed for the better. Sometimes people grow apart. If the relationship ended because one or both of you changed, then it might be best for both of you to move on.
Make sure that you will do your best to not make the mistake again. If he takes you back, then it is important to not repeat your mistakes.
Do not try to get back together with him if you do not have honest intentions. This will only lead to heartbreak for both parties.
Try cutting off contact for a week if you think a short period of time without contact is best for you. If the breakup was especially hard, avoid contact for at least a month. During this period, do your best not to return his messages or calls if he contacts you. You may decide to make contact after a while, but cutting off contact completely will help renew his interest.
Unfriend him only if you find it too difficult to avoid contacting him or looking at what he posts. Otherwise, it is best to leave that form of communication open for the future. Don’t look at what he posts on social media. It will only hurt more to see him having a good time without you.
Stay friendly and professional if you work or go to school with your ex-boyfriend, but don’t talk to him unless it’s necessary.
Feeling sad as a result of your breakup is normal. You should seek help if the sadness reflects in all aspects of your life and does not improve over time. [11] X Research source Seek help if your sleeping, eating, and concentration is affected for more than two weeks. Definitely seek help if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Don’t get too weighed down by self-pity. Allow yourself time to feel sad, but don’t forget the positive aspects of yourself.
Buy a new outfit. New clothes can show off just how how fun, sexy, or edgy you are. [14] X Research source Start working out. A healthy change in lifestyle is beneficial to you, and your ex-boyfriend may notice the change.
Take a yoga class. Go on a trip to a new destination. Take a cooking class. Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
Consider your strengths, but also consider your weaknesses. Don’t dwell on your weaknesses. Instead, think of ways to improve them.
If you send a text, don’t initiate too long of a conversation. Tell him you hope he’s doing well, or that you saw something that made you think of him. [18] X Research source
Do not tell him that you miss him, love him, or want him back yet. Don’t text him repeatedly if he does not answer back. Wait at least a few days or a week before trying again. If he never answers back, do not continue contacting him.
Try not to talk about the relationship just yet. Update him on your life, and ask about what has been going on with him. Don’t get emotional or angry if he does not react in the way you would like at first.
Ask him out for coffee. Suggest going on a hike or walk together. Ask him to go to a movie or event that would interest him.
Tell him what new things you have tried during your time apart. Utilize the confidence you gained during the breakup to remind him how fun and friendly you are.
Do not ask to get back together at first. Tell him that you have getting back together in mind. Let him know that you would like to get back together by telling him that you think you’ve spent enough time apart to start fresh.
Talk through your differences and come to an agreement. Do not jump back into a relationship without resolving the problems that led to the breakup.
Do not bring up the past if you do get back together. Talk about the past before you decide to begin a relationship. Don’t react badly if he decides not to get back together. He might not be ready yet. Don’t sabotage future chances by reacting emotionally. Ask if his decision to not get back together is final. Accept that you will not be in a relationship with him again.
