It’s important to think about what you might have done to cause the breakup. Blaming your ex for everything is not a great way to get him back!
If your boyfriend was physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive in any way, you should not try to get back together with him. It’s perfectly normal for you to miss him even if it was an unhealthy relationship, but it’s important to remind yourself that you can do better.
This doesn’t mean you need to completely shun him if you go to school together or have mutual friends, but avoid calling him or hanging out with him for a little while so that you both have the chance to heal and gather your thoughts. If your ex contacts you a lot, let him know that you’re going to give him some time so he doesn’t think you don’t want anything to do with him. This is especially important if the guy you love is a bit shy or insecure. He may need some time to realize how much he misses you too!
If you suffer from depression or anxiety, see a mental health professional for help. You may be surprised what an impact treatment will have on your self-esteem. Remind yourself of your strengths and talents every day. Celebrate every accomplishment you make, no matter how small. If you have a hard time recognizing your own strengths, talk to your friends and loved ones. Ask them to share with you what they think your most positive traits are. Try to be thankful for all that you have. Meditation can help you reduce stress and live more soundly in the moment.
This is not fool-proof by any means. He might still want to get back together with you even if he hasn’t expressed that to his friends.
Don’t use this as an opportunity to start begging him to take you back. Instead, try to have a good time with him and make sure he has a great time with you. Don’t talk about your relationship the first time you see him unless he brings it up first. Otherwise, wait until you’ve spent time together a few times and have had the chance to make a good impression on him as a friend.
Always be positive and happy when you’re around him. You can drop subtle hints along the way that you’re still interested in him. For example, you could say, “It’s great to hang out with you. I really missed spending time with you. " Even if you don’t bring up your past relationship directly, you can remind him of the good times you shared together in subtle ways. If he complimented a particular outfit, wear it again. You could also share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it in a familiar place where you used to enjoy good times together.
Be sure to ask your ex if he still has feelings for you too before you start gushing about wanting to get back together. If he doesn’t, there’s not much you can do about it. Don’t cry or beg. Don’t let this conversation become an argument about why you broke up. It’s important to show him that you’ve moved past that. Have the conversation in a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted.
Depending on how serious you and your boyfriend are, you might want to go to couples counseling to improve your relationship skills.
Depending on what bad habits you are trying to rid yourself of, you might benefit from the help of a mental health professional. Keep in mind that this does not mean you should change who you are. If your personalities are incompatible, it’s probably best to look for a new boyfriend who appreciates you for you. If, however, you have some bad habits that you can address, go ahead and work on them. You don’t need to change for anyone else! Any changes that you make should be made because they ultimately benefit you.
Be specific about what you are sorry for. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry for hurting you,” say, “I’m sorry for not returning your calls. " This will help convince him that you have genuinely put some thought into the things you have to be sorry for. Tell your ex why you did what you did and let him know what you have learned from the experience.
If you cheated because you were unhappy in the relationship or felt that something was missing, be honest about what happened and what you would like to do to make sure it doesn’t happen again. If you cheated because you thought you had genuine feelings for the other person but you really didn’t, let your ex-boyfriend know how wrong you were and tell him what you’ve learned. If you are a compulsive cheater and are unsure of what motivates you, show your commitment by seeking professional psychiatric counseling. If you cheated to get revenge or teach your ex-boyfriend a lesson, tell him that you realize how immature that was and that you’ve learned how important it is to deal with conflicts like an adult.
Commit to regular conversations, and make sure you are open and honest with your partner at all times. If you can’t be physically close to him, it’s even more important to work on communication. [12] X Research source Fill your partner in on even the most mundane aspects of your daily life, and encourage him to do the same. This will help you feel like you are a part of the other’s world. [13] X Research source Try your hardest not to let the distance cause you to become insecure about your relationship, as these doubts can cause the relationship to fail. [14] X Research source
For example, if you want him back because you feel lonely without him, that’s not a good enough reason to get back together. The lonely feeling will pass with time. Or if you want him back because you feel jealous thinking of him with someone else, think again before you decide to try to get back together. Post-breakup jealousy is normal, and this, too, will pass.
