Don’t try to reunite with your ex if they are seeing someone else. Just pursue your own interests, see other people, and be patient. [2] X Research source
Some good reasons to get back together include: your timing was off the first time you were together, you needed more time to get over a previous relationship, or you have developed a new appreciation for what your ex provided for you. [3] X Research source Some bad reasons to try to get back with your ex include: you’re scared of being alone (of course you’re lonely after a relationship goes south, but that doesn’t mean you should plunge right back into that relationship); you miss the familiar (again, there’s no issue with this feeling, but it doesn’t mean you should get back together); you’re jealous of their new relationship (again, a totally allowable feeling, but not a good basis for a fresh relationship attempt). You should enlist a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, to consider why you want to get back with your ex. They will help you tease out some less-than-stellar reasons and maybe help you move on.
For example, if you fought all of the time and did not enjoy spending time together, then the relationship is probably not worth reviving. Some couples are so focused on getting back together that they don’t acknowledge the issues and problems that prevented them from having a functional relationship. [4] X Expert Source Lisa ShieldDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
Taking up a new hobby. Improving your health with a new exercise and diet regimen. Starting a journal to record your thoughts and feelings. Spending more time with your friends.
Keep the message light and casual. Don’t say anything intense like, “I can’t live without you. ” Tell your ex about something funny that happened to you or something interesting that reminded you of your ex. [9] X Research source Make sure that you are sober when you reconnect with your ex. Drunk texts or calls are a recipe for disaster.
Don’t say anything about getting back together during your first meeting. Just have a nice, fun chat together and leave it at that for now. Make sure that you look fantastic when you first meet up again. Looking your best will help you to feel confident and it will make it more likely that your ex will want to get back together with you.
It’s really important to focus on changing and improving on what made your relationship weak in the first place. That might mean improving your communication, learning how to listen better, or learning how to establish better boundaries. [16] X Expert Source Lisa ShieldDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
