If the room isn’t clean, take 10 minutes to tidy up and put away clutter. Both you and your partner will feel more relaxed if the space is neat. Use 2 sheets—one for your partner to lay on top of, and 1 for them to put over themselves at the beginning of the massage in case they’re chilly.

A space heater or fan can help make a big difference in the room’s temperature if you don’t have much time.

For a special touch, light your partner’s favorite scented candle.

Take this time as an opportunity to disconnect from work, school, and other commitments so you can focus on connecting with your partner.

Check out whatever streaming service you use—many have pre-made playlists or stations that are made for relaxation. Search for “relaxing music” or “ambient music” to see what is available. “Zen,” “yoga,” and “meditation” are other keywords that could help you find the right music for the occasion.

If your partner doesn’t already know, clue them in that you’re planning on giving them a romantic massage. They may want to take a shower or change their clothes before you begin.

Add a few drops of essential oils to the carrier oil or cream to give it a pleasing scent. Lavender, peppermint, bergamot, and sandalwood are great options.

Check in with your partner to see if the amount of pressure you’re using is good. They may want a deeper massage or prefer less pressure. Let your hands glide over their skin. Count slowly in your head to 20 for each section that you massage, like their neck, left shoulder, right shoulder, the middle of the back, etc.

If your partner is comfortable with it, you could also give them a gentle butt massage. Use your elbow to gently put pressure on your partner’s butt, starting at the top and working your way down to the bottom. Repeat on the opposite side.

Remember to count to 20 for each part of the body. The upper left arm, upper right arm, lower left arm, lower right arm, and so on should each get their allotment of time.

Depending on how ticklish your partner is, you may have to skip this part. But if they enjoy it, it’s worth spending some time on.

How high up toward the groin you take the massage is between you and your partner. If they give you any non-verbal signs, like putting their legs together or moving away from you, you may be moving too high up their leg.

If your partner fell asleep during the massage, let them rest!