Make sure you focus on how your problem is with working with your boss, not your actual boss or some aspect of his or her personality. Talk about how you’re having trouble communicating, which is making it more difficult to meet objectives, or say something else about how you’re struggling to meet deadlines because of changing expectations. Frame the conversation so it sounds like you want your company to succeed, which can only happen if you and your boss work better together. It’s important to choose your words carefully. Avoid any personal attacks that may offend your boss, and focus on discussing your work. Picking a time to talk in advance will keep your boss from being caught off guard and will give the situation the seriousness that it deserves.
Help your boss achieve his goals by being helpful, present, and supportive. Even if he’s difficult to deal with, your life will be easier if you move with the grain instead of against it.
If you’re really struggling to communicate with your boss, then try to make sure that all of your communication happens in front of someone else, so that you have evidence of what happened if your boss tries to deny it. Document everything that you feel is relevant to your concerns with your boss. You may want to purchase a pocket planner so that you can enter the issues on the appropriate dates. Keep this private. You don’t want to pull put the planner and scribble notes in front of him because that will cause more anger. You are keeping notes for your own sake, so that you have all your concerns backed up with facts.
If you know that your boss has difficulty accomplishing a certain task, try to keep yourself relatively free so you can be there to help out.
If you find yourself getting emotional in the middle of a conversation, excuse yourself and ask to resume the conversation at a later time. If you hear yourself raising your voice, stop, slow down, and take a few deep breaths. If you can’t keep the conversation at a normal level, then you should resume it later.
In fact, it can be helpful to ask yourself if you’re doing everything you can correctly before you start a conversation with your boss. You may be having problems with your boss because you have been doing something wrong without realizing it. It’s best to anticipate anything your boss might say, such as the fact that you’re always late or that your reports need to be proofread more, before you start the conversation. Otherwise, you may be taken aback. Don’t interrupt your boss and wait for him to finish giving his feedback. You don’t want him to think that you’re above listening to him. A difficult boss will be at their worst when you’ve made a major mistake, but you may be able to partly salvage the situation by handling failure at work with honesty and integrity.
You and your boss may just not be compatible as people. If this is the case, then you’ll have to find a new way to operate together unless you feel like you have exhausted all of your resources. Sometimes, you may have to accept your differences first before you move on.
If you have something specific to say to your boss, you may even want to write it down or rehearse it first to make sure that it comes off as professional. You don’t want to start saying something and then realize that you’re stepping out of your bounds halfway through your conversation.
If you go over your boss’s head at the first sign of a conflict, then you will cause irreparable damage to your relationship. If you can try talking to your boss before talking to someone else, it can save your relationship, as well as your happiness at work.
Make sure you use professional language and avoid bad-mouthing your boss in front of your supervisor. You don’t want to say something that makes your supervisor lose respect for you, too. Remember that you want to look like the calm, reasonable one, and that your boss is the one who has been causing all the problems.
If you’ve witnessed fraud at your company and want to take action, remember that the False Claims Act requires you to first file your claim before you disclose it publicly.
Of course, all of this depends on your workplace culture and if such arrangements are typically — or even occasionally — made at your workplace. Do your research and see if such a thing has been done before, and look out for tips on how to proceed. Of course, you should try to find this out without letting everyone know about the particular situation you find yourself in.
Of course, if your boss is being inappropriate, discriminating against you, or doing other unreasonable things, then there’s no question about it: you have to leave. Ideally, you should be able to look for new work while maintaining your current position. Being employed will make you a more appealing candidate for other companies.
As you interview for a new position, make sure you talk to other people at the company and get a strong sense of what your new boss will be like before you accept an offer. Though you won’t know 100% what your new boss or job will be like until you start working there, you should follow your gut to see if something is off. Though you may be rushing to take on a new offer because it’ll mean you will have to spend less time at your current job, resist the temptation to take something that doesn’t feel quite right just because it means you’ll get to leave your current difficult boss. Tell yourself that it’s a worthy time investment to search for a place where you can truly be happy in the long run.
