If you’re having doubts, stop and think about them. Think about what’s causing the doubts, and why they’re bothering you. Are your doubts uncalled for, or reasonable? Do you or your partner have a chance of overcoming these doubts? Should you give your partner a second chance? If you decide it’s time to end the relationship, make sure you fully understand your reasons and are able to explain them to someone else. Prepare yourself to talk about your reasons. But also realize you don’t have to justify your reasons.
Part of your preparation should also be to think about how your partner is going to react. Think about your responses to their reactions so you don’t have to struggle with what to say.
You may want to choose a private location so you don’t embarrass them if they get upset or angry. You don’t have to humiliate someone to break up with them. Breaking up with someone is a personal process, it’s not something you bring friends to. If you feel you need the support afterwards, make plans to meet up with your friends later. If you have a long-distance relationship with someone, and it’s impossible to get together in-person to break up, using the phone (or something like Skype) is acceptable.
Let your partner know that they still matter to you and that they’re still a great person. List some of their awesome qualities to help boost their spirit. Being honourable and respectful also means NOT spreading negative comments about your soon-to-be ex-partner behind their back.
Go into the conversation knowing you might need to listen to them plead, beg, complain, get angry, or even be relieved. You can’t walk away after you’ve told them you’re breaking up, you need to hear them out as well.
After a few days consider sending them an email to ask if they’re okay. Or saying ‘Hi’ to them in the hallway when you pass by. Don’t ignore them if you see them, but you don’t have to try to engage them if they ignore you.
This trusted and supportive person may be able to help out, or they can provide you with advice on who can. Whatever you’re going through, realize you don’t have to go through it alone.
Allowing yourself to cry on your own terms will help prevent getting upset at an inopportune time, like in the middle of class or a baseball game.
Consider this as an opportunity to redecorate your room or learn how to play the guitar. Focus your energy on something productive as often as you can.
Don’t compare your healing process to others, you aren’t them, and they aren’t you.
If you start thinking negatively, take a moment to stop and think of all the awesome things about yourself. Write them down if you have to. Put sticky notes on your mirror to remind you how awesome you are. As corny as it sounds, it does help!
Don’t be afraid to tell your parents, friends, or a trusted teacher that you need to talk to someone. It is worth the effort to stop yourself before something truly destructive happens.
Heartache can happen when one of the people realizes the relationship is over before the other. Even if you’re the one who notices first and decides to call it off, it’s still not your fault. You’re simply doing what’s right for you, and in the long-run, what’s right for both of you.
You might find that the person you thought you could get along with wants to do nothing but argue with you, or maybe they’re too protective or overbearing. It might have been impossible to know this before you starting dating.
If you’re the one who has fallen for someone else, respect your existing partner enough to break up with them before you cheat on them. It’s okay to fall for someone else, but acting on those feeling while leading someone else on is dishonourable.
