If the person appears to want to talk to you, make it clear you do not wish to speak. If needed, say, “I refuse to talk to you. ”
“Say, I’m going to use the bathroom” or, “I need some air. ” If you’re on public transportation or somewhere you can exit quickly, do so.
Make sure you are safe before confronting your abuser. Consider your location. Is it a busy public place or an isolated area? Are you alone or are there friends with you? If you believe you are in danger or that the other person might try to retaliate, do not confront the person. Instead, you may want to find an opportunity to slip away. If the opportunity comes and goes or if verbal confrontation is not for you, symbolically confront the person. Write a letter to the person and burn it.
If strangers notice or try to help, that’s good. This will help shame the rapist away and keep you safe from them. You aren’t doing anything wrong by alerting people that you need protecting. If your rapist follows your car, drive to the nearest police station and walk right in. Inform the police about what’s happening.
You can also focus on your senses to feel calm and anchor yourself in the present moment. As you breathe, use grounding techniques to help you stay calm. One way is to count to 100. Another good technique is to pick a color and find things around you that are the same color.
If you burst into tears or immediately run and hide, that’s okay. Acknowledge how you feel and that it’s okay to feel that way. You might need some time to process how you feel. In the days after seeing the person, take time to acknowledge your feelings and feel them. Consider using a journal or talking to a friend. If the encounter triggered you or caused new trauma, consider seeing a mental health professional for help.
If you notice negative thought patterns are triggered, repeat to yourself that it wasn’t your fault and the blame is not on you. Self-blame and negative thoughts are common for survivors of rape, even long after the event. If you have anxiety, PTSD, or thoughts of self-harm, seek help from a mental health professional. [3] X Research source
If you don’t want them to tell anyone, choose someone who is trustworthy and will respect your wishes.
Handling your trauma and staying safe is more important than being polite or keeping up appearances. If the person approaches you, don’t feel like you have to talk or be pleasant with them.
You may not avoid places forever, but it might help you through the pain and fear you feel now. If you have mutual friends with the person and the association upsets you, consider cutting those people out of your life, at least temporarily. If someone triggers you, it’s best if they’re not in your life.
You may also file a report by calling 9-1-1 in the United States or by going to a medical facility. Some people report feeling re-traumatized by court proceedings and the justice system. However, if you feel like you want to protect your safety and are willing to seek legal action, do it.
Obtain a restraining order from your county’s court system. You will need to complete some paperwork and turn it into the courthouse.
If you’re struggling to take care of yourself or are having difficulty sleeping or eating, you may be experiencing PTSD or depression. Talk to a therapist if your symptoms persist for more than two weeks.
Find a therapist by asking at a local rape crisis center, university counseling center, calling your insurance provider, or asking a friend. You can also attend a survivor support group to meet other people who have had similar experiences as you.
Find a support group locally through a mental health clinic or hospital or join an online community.
