The point of this is not to point fingers or lay blame on any one. Understand that you have some control over the quality of your life.
You will have to exercise some discipline. It’s easy to repeat behavior just because it’s familiar, it’s what you’re used to doing in a particular situation. For example, if you’re used to eating lots of sweet things and now you have diabetes, it will take time to adjust to your eating habits.
Allow yourself to fully feel any grievance you may have for the past. For a friendship that went sour or for a project you set out to do that didn’t work out the way you wanted. Write about it or discuss it with someone you trust. Express your view on the matter and why you’re upset about it. This will help you better understand your situation. [1] X Research source Accept that what’s done is done and that you can only deal with the here and now. [2] X Research source Forgive yourself for your mistakes and if you can, make amends with others. Internalizing this may take longer than a day. Your choices, habits and behavior in the past made who you are today. It will take time to cultivate new habits that will make who you are tomorrow.
For example, if one of your ‘rules’ is ‘I must never tell a lie’ then you value honesty. Or if one of your rules is ‘Never be rude to others’ then you value politeness. Once you think you’ve defined your value, check to see if they really are your values. Look at how you make decisions on a daily basis. Do they truly reflect your values? If you break your ‘rules’ and you feel upset, guilty or distraught, then that rule most likely reflects your values. Here is a list of values to help you define your values.
Think about your priorities and passions. Maybe your priority is to find a high-paying job so that you can support your family in the future. Or maybe your priority is to better the community in some way. Maybe your passion is writing, or your passion is maths. Research how you can make your passion fulfill your priority. You most likely have an idea of a ‘dream future’ with a ‘dream job’. Start there. Search online for the skills, qualifications and experience you’ll need to get there. Read the biographies of people who you aspire to be like. Plan your goals. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. Find out what you’ll need to do in order to achieve each step. Your ambitions may change over time. You only have control over your actions, not your circumstance. [4] X Research source Make sure how you react and respond to your circumstances reflects your values. So long as your ambitions stay in line with your values, you will likely have a great future.
Questioning yourself will require monitoring the way you think and the things you do. Negative thinking styles will hinder your efforts to achieve your goals. [7] X Research source Be sure to do this every night before you sleep if not constantly throughout the day. Self-monitoring will become habitual over time. [8] X Research source
Consult a nutritionist about the best kinds of food for your body type. Be sure to have balanced meals and to eat a full breakfast. Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day. [13] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source How much you need as you age will change and will be affected by other health factors such as your current weight and your heart condition. [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Consider asking a friend to join you in a sport you like or to start jogging together. A good sleep cycle takes into consideration not just how much you sleep, but also when you sleep. The most restful sleep occurs at night with a nap during the day. Try to be in bed by 10. 30 and to nap for an hour or so during the day. How much sleep you need will most likely vary depending on your level of activity, food intake and rest throughout the day. [15] X Research source Take care of your hair, your skin and your teeth. Self-grooming will boost your self-esteem and make you feel more fresh throughout the day. [16] X Research source Experiment over time with which products and routines suit you best. Talk to a stylist or a dermatologist about how to take care of your hair and skin.
Write down everything you complete in a half-hour so you can see how efficiently you’re using your time. [18] X Expert Source Rahti Gorfien, PCCLife Coach Expert Interview. 17 December 2019.
One popular study recommends working for 52 minutes and taking a 17-minute break to improve your productivity. [19] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Make it a point to do things that you find relaxing, such as yoga, meditation, painting or reading. [20] X Expert Source Rahti Gorfien, PCCLife Coach Expert Interview. 17 December 2019. Experiment with different activities to see which best suits you. What is relaxing to you may not be relaxing to someone else.
If you are still studying, consider getting a part-time job. This will teach you the value of money and time, and instill responsibility and discipline in you. [21] X Research source
Sometimes, we suffer a great loss and need to grieve. Grieving does not necessarily mean that we are ungrateful and being grateful does not mean you’re not allowed to grieve. It’s a natural human process. [23] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
If you find yourself in a generally low mood, look to your thoughts. What are you thinking? How are you thinking? Are you complaining about something? Are you blaming yourself or someone else for what happened? Ask yourself if what you’re thinking is based on fact or opinion. Is there truth to your thought? Think of other ways of looking at your situation. This doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to have negative thoughts. Everybody has negative thoughts occasionally. Believing all the negative thoughts to be true is what will have a negative impact on your life including lower mood and motivation to work for a great future. [26] X Research source
