If you haven’t had sex yet, you might say “Crystal, I really enjoy our friendship and we have such a close bond. But, I’m single now and I really would like to take our friendship in a new direction. I’m not looking for a relationship though, but I do think about sleeping with you often. ” If you have had sex, but haven’t had a conversation, you might say “You know, the other night was great. I know that on my end I still want us to be friends no matter what but I would like to keep having sex without the romantic commitment, if you want to. ” If they are not interested in having or continuing a sexual relationship with you, move on and do not pressure them.
You might say “Chris, I’m moving in a few months, so why don’t we just do this until I leave?” If you don’t have a good event try saying, “I really want to make sure our friendship stays intact, I think it would be a good idea to just do this until December. "
For instance, perhaps you might agree to only speak every other day and to not have phone calls that last for more than 30 minutes at a time. Intimate conversations and confiding in someone will naturally lead to developing romantic feelings. Notice if your friend is confiding in you more often as well.
Respecting the agreed upon boundaries will also help keep you maintain your friendship with the person after you FWB relationship has ended. If you are crossing these boundaries all the time, it may be because you are developing feelings for your friend.
If you feel that you cannot be chill, consider ending the relationship.
If you want to get them something for their birthday or for a holiday, consider putting a monetary limit on the gift, like $50 or less.
Set an alarm if necessary so that if you do fall asleep, you can leave before the morning comes.
You can still hang out and go to the movies or to dinner together, but keep it friendly.
If you start dating someone, let them know, especially if you plan to have sex with this new person. If you tell them you will hang out with them or call them later, do so. Continue to be a good friend to them.
You might say “Jamie, I’ve enjoyed these last few months being friends with benefits, but I think now I want something more. If you don’t, I understand and respect that, but I can’t continue to just have sex with you because of these feelings that I have. ” If they tell you that they have developed feelings for you, be honest with them about your own feelings. If you don’t want a relationship, tell them that.
