If you used to be popular, and now you’re an outcast, that’s okay, too. People shed labels all the time, since many of them no longer fit or apply to their lives.
Recognize that no matter what makes you different - whether it’s your identity, your interests, a disability, a hobby, a rank in school or work, or anything else - you’re still your own person, and your traits make you into who you are. There’s nothing wrong with that.
For example, if you’re a good cook, good at writing, and good at photography, write those things down. List your talents, achievements, and things you do that make you feel good. Don’t put down your strengths! If you catch yourself falling into the trap of “I like science, but I’m not good at it” or “I’m good at socializing, except for that one time when. . . “, take a step back and remind yourself that you’re looking for your strengths, not your flaws or one-time mistakes.
Nothing prevents you from changing as a person. Even if you have a history of treating others poorly, there’s nothing stopping you from changing your thought processes and treating people better. If you find yourself slipping into negative thought patterns while doing this, such as “I can’t do anything right” or “There’s nothing good about me”, stop those thoughts. Take a break to do something you enjoy, and remember your good qualities.
If you have self-destructive habits such as self-injuring, excessively drinking, suicidal ideation, or anything else that could have severe negative impacts on your life, find someone who can help you, whether it’s a trusted adult, a professional, or even someone on the other end of a crisis hotline. You deserve to feel happy and loved, even if you don’t think so.
Your freshman year will be much different from your senior year, in combination with people maturing and life changes.
If you really don’t want to have to deal with all of that time, see if it’s possible for you to graduate high school early. While it’s not a path that everyone chooses to take, it lets you get out of school earlier. However, this may affect the graduation activities that you get to participate in. Dropping out of school may seem like a viable solution, but it can have an extremely negative impact on things like job prospects. However, you can consider dropping out if you have more reasons for it than just being an outcast.
Keep in mind that the energy you put out affects who approaches you. Someone who scowls all day, is sarcastic and snarky, and is generally negative will attract more negative people than someone who does their best to have a smile on their face and be positive. It’s okay to have bad days, but do your best to not be a complete rage-filled monster on those days. There’s a difference between glaring at someone who bumped into you in the halls, and screaming at them.
Be friendly towards your teachers, too! Even if you don’t like them, it’s best to be polite. Remember, they’re your teachers, so if you get on their bad side and then get in trouble, they’re not likely to back you up, even if they know you’re in the right.
Be friendly towards your teachers, too! Even if you don’t like them, it’s best to be polite. Remember, they’re your teachers, so if you get on their bad side and then get in trouble, they’re not likely to back you up, even if they know you’re in the right.
If being an outcast is causing you problems with your grades - for example, nobody will pair up with you for group work and it’s affecting your grade - talk to your teacher and find a solution to the problem. Many times, teachers are willing to make accommodations for students who are doing their best.
Strike up conversations with your classmates. Search for those with similar interests and mindsets. Try talking to the quieter kids or the kids that you wouldn’t expect yourself to hang out with. Oftentimes, the people you don’t expect to find yourself friends with turn out to be better people than you anticipated. Be cautious with certain crowds. While you’re free to spend time with whoever you want to, you should be feeling happy with your friends, not on-edge or lousy. If your “friends” put you down, leave them. It’s better to be alone than to have people around who don’t appreciate you for who you are. (And, obviously, your friends should never pressure you to do anything illegal or that you’re not comfortable with. ) It’s okay to prefer being alone. Many introverts prefer to be alone.
That being said, you don’t have to suffer if someone is being cruel or abusive. If this person won’t stop bothering you, talk to an adult and figure out a solution. If the adult doesn’t listen or care, go to more adults until somebody actually helps you. Just because you’re an outcast doesn’t mean you have to put up with people treating you poorly.
Join a club that sounds interesting to you. It doesn’t matter what that club is - just check it out, see if it’s interesting, and if it is, join. Sports teams are a common choice for high schoolers, but you can also check out things like robotics teams and community service teams.
Attempting to fit in with popular kids won’t do much, especially if you used to be one of them but aren’t popular now. This will most likely just subject you to ridicule. Spend time doing things and hanging out with people that you actually like, not people you pretend to like. There’s nothing worse than doing something you don’t like just because you’re worried about what your peers will think about you.
Make studying fun, if you have trouble with it. There’s no law dictating that studying needs to be boring. Study in a way that suits you best. If you learn best by reading from the textbook, then do that. If you learn best by creating study guides, do that. As long as you can remember the information, it doesn’t matter the method you used to remember it.
Not all teens live in the best family situations. If your family is abusive or dysfunctional, it may not be the best choice to try and be close with family members who do harmful things. In severe cases, know when to report child abuse.
It’s okay if the only friends you have are online. You can still spend time with them - whether it’s by emailing, using social media, instant messaging, or talking with them over voice calls or video chats.
Volunteering doesn’t have to happen outside of the home. There are many organizations that allow you to volunteer online.
It’s completely okay to not want to get a job. Not all teens want to (or can) work, especially considering that they already have school and studying, as well as other things that take up time in their lives. If your state requires it, make sure that you receive a work permit from your school before trying to get a job, or you may not be able to work. Try to pick a job that you’d enjoy more than you dislike. If you’re not a very social person, then it wouldn’t be a good idea to take a job that involves constant interaction with people. As a teen, your options are limited, and nobody is going to enjoy all parts of their job, but unless you absolutely have to, don’t take a job just because it’s the only job you can find.
