Remarking on the weather or some other aspect of your surroundings. Try to say something positive, such as “What a gorgeous fall day!” or “This is my favorite café!” or “There are so many people here! How exciting!” Pay the person a compliment. If you have a way to compliment the person on something, then this is also a good option. Try saying something like, “I love your dress! It is such a beautiful color!” or “I really enjoyed your presentation!” or “Your dog is so cute!” Ask a question. Asking a question is also a great way to get a conversation started. [2] X Expert Source Lynn KirkhamPublic Speaking Coach Expert Interview. 20 November 2019. Try asking something like, “What did you think of the keynote speech?” or “What is your favorite thing to order here?” or “Do you know how to get to the art museum?”
Match the stride of what the other person is saying. For example, you’re standing in a long line and the person in front of you turns and says “I sure hope we aren’t waiting long. I need to pick my toddler up from daycare. ” You can match the person by showing you’re listening and addressing what was said: “Oh, you have a toddler? Fun! I have two kids myself. ” Shift the topic (or add more to the current topic) to keep the conversation moving in a productive direction. Let’s say the person says “Yes, my toddler is my only. She’s quite a handful. ” You could respond with “I bet. Mine are older now, but I miss them at that age. ” Or, you could say “My sister has a toddler. He’s in the repeating-everything-he-hears phase!” Pass back by inviting the person to keep the conversation going. You might add to either of the earlier statements. “I’m sure you have tons of adorable stories, huh?”
For example, if you are at a work function talking with coworkers, then you might want to stick with work-related topics and small talk. If you are at a wedding, baby shower, or some other positive event, then you might want to avoid discussing anything too deep and serious, such as death or the afterlife. However, if you are at a funeral or having coffee with a close friend, then discussing death or the afterlife might be appropriate. You might also consider how well you know and trust the person you are talking to. Do you feel that the person will keep your information confidential? Do know whether or not the person will judge you?
Be willing to show vulnerability. “You know I was really nervous to come here tonight. ” Engage in self-disclosure by using connections to something the other person shared. “I can relate to what you were saying about having to look after yourself. My parents died when I was very young” or “I get what you mean about life getting in the way of your goals. I had some problems performing at school last year that caused me to repeat some classes. ” Ask open-ended questions that allow for detailed answers. “What brings you here tonight?” rather than “Are you having fun?” Maintain a two-way street by balancing how much you talk with how much you listen.
People love to talk about themselves. Show interest in your conversation partner by asking an open-ended question, giving positive feedback, or complimenting the other person. For instance, say something like “You are really good at playing guitar. What got you interested?”
Making eye contact with the speaker to show you have his or her attention Smiling or making appropriate facial expressions depending on the message Turning your body towards the speaker Minimizing distractions Clarifying to be sure you understood (“Are you saying…?”) Reflecting what was said by using emotion to verify that you understood correctly (“It sounds like you’re very upset by this situation. ”) Providing feedback by sharing your thoughts or opinions on the message
Watch for cues that the conversation is over. Pay attention to the other person’s body language. If the person has gone silent and is looking around the room or starting to face away from you, then the conversation may be over. Say something to draw the conversation to a close before moving on. If the conversation seems to be over, then try saying something like, “I have to head out, but I enjoyed talking with you! Thanks for the pleasant conversation!”
In general, you want to convey open body language by orienting towards the person, keeping your arms and legs uncrossed, and making eye contact with the other person. Other things to consider would be making appropriate facial expressions and gestures to further get your message across. Space and touch can also be used to communicate. For instance, you may stand closer to a person with whom you have a more intimate relationship while you would provide ample space in business or professional settings.
For example, you might use your voice to make sounds of understanding like “uh-huh” or to demonstrate contemplation like “hmm…”
For example, in many cultures, it is proper for younger individuals to address senior members of a group as “sir” or “ma’am”. Keep in mind such group expectations and include these standards in your communication.
Eye contact. If someone is interested, then they will usually make eye contact with you. Facial expressions. Is the person frowning? Smiling? Seemingly bored? These expressions can help your to determine how the person might be feeling. Posture. An interested person might face you and lean in towards you, whereas an uninterested person might face away from you or lean away from you.
Gain insight into your values by making a list of your top priorities in life. This list may include examples like family, honesty, money, and recognition. Once you have made your list, rank the items from ‘most important’ to ‘least important’. Figure out your needs by thinking about what kinds of things motivate you to take positive action. At the same time, these things also have the power to cause frustration and stress if you are lacking them. Examples of needs might be belonging, control, and security among others. [12] X Research source After you have developed your core needs and values, you can use these to help you assert yourself. For example, if you value your education and a friend wants you to cut class to help her pick out a new outfit for her date, then you might assert yourself by saying something like, “No, I can’t help you with that. My education is important to me and I don’t want to miss class. ”
Use body language to carry your message. Make eye contact, stand with your shoulders back and chin up, and speak loudly so that the other person can hear you. Develop a formula. For example, each time you want to say “no” you can start by saying how you would love to but the request does not suit you or conflicts with existing plans. “I would love to participate in the fundraiser but I have too many obligations right now. ” Refrain from apologizing. You have an innate right as a person to say “no. ” Do not feel pressed to apologize, because that sends the message that you are doing something wrong.
For instance, you might say “I really liked the movie. The main character was so cool to me. ” Then, ask for the opinion of someone else and listen to it without interrupting or expressing disagreement.
For example, consider how much you care about the issue at hand. If you don’t care as much as the other person, it may be easier for you to bend to their side of things.
