Give your child the chance to talk but don’t bring up the subject of anxiety too much or you might make them dwell on their fear even more. For example, say something like, “I think you’re feeling nervous, but you do have to go to school. Tell me what you’re worried about. “[1] X Trustworthy Source University of Rochester Medical Center Leading academic medical center in the U. S. focused on clinical care and research Go to source If your kid is old enough, talk about what anxiety is and explain that it’s a normal feeling. You could say, “It’s normal to feel anxious. Anxiety is a thought or a feeling that can be scary, but we can work through it. “[2] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source

For example, say, “It sounds like you feel really scared when I drop you off in the morning. You do know that I always come back for you,” or, “I know you’re sad when we say goodbye, but you do have a good time when you’re at school. " It can help to remind your child of things that they enjoy about school—talking with friends, playing at recess, or eating their favorite school lunch.

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For another breathing exercise, tell your child to pretend like they’re squeezing a lemon in each fist while they take a deep breath in. Tell them to breathe out and unclench their fists after 3 seconds. If your child likes to do things with their hands, send along a fidget toy or playdough for them to mold. Sometimes, these can distract your child from their anxiety.

Do this on a regular basis and gradually increase the amount of time that you’re gone. This way, your child gets used to what it’s like being apart. For example, ask a relative to watch your child for 30 minutes once a week. Gradually increase the amount of time to an hour or have them watch your child a few more days each week so you’re apart for more time.

Visit the school, classroom, or playground regularly, so your child becomes familiar with it. Ideally, you’d do this before the school year starts, but even visiting once your child is in school can help.

Your child might make the comfort item part of their routine at school. For example, after they arrive at school, they might hold or look at the item for a few minutes until they feel settled. Then, they’ll feel better about joining the class.

For example, you could take them to their classroom, give them a hug, and say, “Have a great time! I’ll see you later this afternoon. " Kids appreciate it when you’re specific—you might say, “Bye, honey. I’ll pick you up after lunch. " Older kids might enjoy a special goodbye routine—come up with a secret handshake or learn how to sign “I love you. "

If your child’s separation anxiety is persistent, ask the school counselor if they can check-in and talk with your child.

It’s hard to see your child throwing a tantrum or arguing to stay home. However, it’s important to be consistent with sending them to school. Remind them what a good job they’ve been doing. Say something like, “You’ve been doing so good with school lately. I’m so proud of you!” or, “You’re doing such a good job with going to school. Keep it up!”

Get home from school, have a snack, read or play, eat dinner, pick out clothes for school the next day, brush their teeth, and head to bed.