“I’ve been worried about you lately. ” “I’ve noticed some changes in your behavior lately, so I wanted to check in with you. ” “I wanted to see how you’re doing, since you’ve seemed [down/stressed/upset]. ”
“How are you feeling about that?” “What’s troubling you?” “Would you tell me more about [the situation/your feelings/that experience]?”
Make eye contact and stay relaxed in your posture. Check your understanding by asking “So it seems like you’re saying… Is that right?” Show them you’re listening by occasionally nodding, saying “Oh” or “Mmm-hmm. ” Prompt them to go on by asking “And?” or “Could you tell me more about that?”
“I hear how upset/sad/angry you are. ”[7] X Research source “That sounds really difficult. ” “You seem sad. ”[8] X Trustworthy Source American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Health organization devoted to saving lives and helping those affected by suicide. Go to source
“I’m here for you. Please let me know how I can help. ” “I may not be able to know exactly what you’re feeling, but I care about you and want to support you. ”[11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source “You matter to me. ”
“When I hear you talk about how [upset/sad/angry/stressed] you are, I feel worried. I think it would be really helpful for you to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. ”[13] X Research source “Could I help you find a therapist/doctor to talk to?” If you have experience seeing a therapist, try talking about how much it helped you. That might help the other person feel more at ease with the idea. [14] X Expert Source Tracy Carver, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 7 January 2021. If the person can’t afford treatment, encourage them to go to a governmentally-funded free clinical (called Federally Qualified Health Centers in the U. S. ) or reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Health 24/7 hotline by texting NAMI to 741741. [15] X Research source
“How do you feel about me driving you to the appointment?” “How can I best support you?” “What can I do to help you?”
“Is there something I can take on to help make your life easier?” Offer to help with grocery shopping, cooking, childcare, or household chores.
Let the person know your concerns and explicitly ask “Are you thinking about suicide?”[21] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source Take the person to a safe place and remove objects the person could use to hurt themselves while you wait for help. Check in with them after the crisis is over.
“I’m here for you, but a mental health professional might be able to give you even better support. ”[23] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source If the person is being abusive or disrespectful, say, “When you talk to me that way, I find it really hard to listen. ” Take time for yourself to spend time with others and do activities you enjoy to de-stress.
