Be aware that the person may need some time before they want to talk about their experience. Avoid pressuring them to talk to you before they are ready. [2] X Expert Source Jay Reid, LPCCLicensed Professional Clinical Counselor Expert Interview. 7 August 2020. Say something like, “Hey, I know you’ve been through a lot lately. I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you if you ever need to talk about anything. ”
Try saying something like, “It was Drew’s choice to take out his anger on you. You didn’t make him do it, and he could have chosen to find a better way to express his feelings. ”
For instance, it may be easier to cut ties with an abusive ex, but how does one completely cut ties with a parent or sibling? The best method is to cut down on contact with the person as much as possible. When your friend does have to come in contact with their abuser, suggest that they have another person present to act as a mediator.
Low Self-Esteem People Pleasing Poor Boundaries Reactivity Caretaking Control Dysfunctional communication Obsessions Dependency Denial Problems with intimacy Painful emotions
Try to phrase things in terms of your concern for the person. Instead of saying, “Why don’t you just get away from her already?!” say something like, “This situation seems really hard for you, and I’m a little worried. Let me know if you need anything. ” They may not recognize that they are in an abusive relationship. If the person was with an abusive partner for a long time, they may begin to see it as normal. You may help by pointing out what you may consider to be abusive so that they can become more aware that the behavior is unacceptable.
Say, “I can see that it has been hard on you to end that relationship. There’s this therapist that really helped a friend of mine who was going through a similar situation. I thought it would be helpful if you scheduled an appointment to talk. I’ll go with you, if you like. "
In the United States, your friend can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for verbal abuse in romantic relationships. [9] X Trustworthy Source National Domestic Violence Hotline Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse Go to source Plus, if the abuser is a parent or the person you would like to help is a minor, your friend can reach out to the National Child Abuse Hotline. [10] X Research source
You might say, “If you need help with the kids while you get this matter sorted out, I’d be happy to watch them. Just give me a call and I’ll come over. "
Simply offer your support and emphasize how the person deserves better than a parent, friend, lover, or family member who verbally abuses them. Say something like “Only you can make the choice of what you want to do about this situation, but I hope you know you deserve better. There are so many people out there who care for you. Don’t think you have to stay around someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. "
See if the person needs a ride away from their abuser’s house or a place to keep their necessities, like keys, phone, and clothes, until they leave their partner.
It’s also possible for anyone – men, women, and children – to be verbally abusive to others. Many people who are verbally abusive don’t even realize it. They may have been abused themselves and never learned healthy communication strategies.
If you or a loved one often feels discouraged, belittled, or frustrated after talking with a certain person, consider whether a subtle form of verbal abuse may be occurring. Common forms of emotional abuse include the following:[17] X Research source Judging and criticizing Accusing and blaming Trivializing Undermining Threatening Name calling Forgetting Denial
For instance, it’s not unusual for people who are being verbally abused to say things like, “He’s just been so stressed at work lately” or “Things will go back to normal soon” to make excuses for their abuser.
The abused seems to ‘walk on eggshells’ around the abuser in order to minimize confrontation. The abused is often the subject of ridicule or nasty humor delivered by the abuser. The abused isn’t free to do as they please; the abuser often controls who they spend time with and see. The abused is called “too sensitive” when they speak out about nasty comments, insults, or jokes. The abused is manipulated emotionally by the abuser with threats of hurting themselves or abandoning the abused in order to maintain power.
