Consider holding her hand. Don’t ask her: just reach for her hand while you’re walking together and twine your fingers into hers. This establishes physical intimacy, but it isn’t as heavy as a hug. If she is very shy or reserved, she may not be comfortable hugging in public, at least not at first. Be considerate.
Maybe you walked her to her next class at the end of lunch, and now it’s time for you to head to your own class. Maybe you walked her home and you’re leaving to walk to your own house. No matter the situation, you’re probably going to tell her goodbye, and you can easily turn this into a hug. If you are walking together, slow down until you are at a complete stop. If she keeps walking, she may not be ready for the hug. Say, “Well, I’d better get to class. " or “It’s been great talking to you. " This will establish that you’re leaving without saying “goodbye” yet. Consider saying something romantic, like “I really like you. " or “You have such a beautiful smile. " If it’s a new relationship, try not to come on too strong and say something like “I love you. " This might scare her. Look into her eyes. There will be a moment when you’re both looking at each other. Open your arms, step toward her, and initiate the hug.
The important thing is that the hug feels natural, not forced. If you get the moment right, she won’t even have to think about it. She’ll just hug you back. It doesn’t matter too much whether your arms are on top, or her arms are on top. If you’re much taller than her, it may feel more natural to hug her around the shoulders while she hugs you around the waist. When you’re more intimate with her, you may want to hug her with your arms below hers–this brings your faces closer together. Don’t hug too tight. Be careful not to hurt her or make her uncomfortable. You should be holding her gently, but not squeezing her. If she squeezes you, by all means squeeze her back. Bear in mind that if she shrinks back from the hug at first, she may just be surprised. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t want you to hug her. In fact, there’s a good chance that she’s just as nervous as you are.
Hug her anytime you’d hug a female relative–your mother, your sister, your aunt. You’ll hug your girlfriend differently than you would hug a female relative, but some of the emotions are the same. Hug her when she’s sad. Open your arms, hold her firmly, and let her cry into your shoulder. Hug her when she’s happy. If she’s excited, open your arms and step toward her to offer a hug. Odds are, she’ll take the hint and jump into your arms. Hug her when you feel emotionally close to her. If you’ve just said romantic words to each other–something like “I like you a lot. " or “I’m so glad you’re my girlfriend. “–try to hug her in the heat of the moment. Open your arms, step toward her, and offer a hug.
If she seems uncomfortable or she pushes you away, give her space. She may not be ready to become physically intimate with you, even if it’s just hugging. If she doesn’t have much relationship experience, she may not know what to do in the situation. Again, odds are that if she’s calling herself your girlfriend, she wants you to hug her. Go hug her!
You can try this any time that you’re sitting next to her for longer than a few minutes. Consider putting your arm around her during a movie, a concert, a school play, in the backseat of a car, or on a ferris wheel. Make sure that the seat you’re sitting in has a back-side to rest your arm on. Couches are great for this. Consider picking a time when there aren’t many other people around. She may feel self-conscious if a lot of her friends, or yours, see you make your move. If the lights are low–say, you’re watching a movie, or it’s dark outside–she may feel more comfortable.
Wait until you’ve been sitting next to each other for at least 5-10 minutes. She should be comfortable, and you should be comfortable. Wait for the right moment: maybe there’s a romantic scene taking place in the movie, or maybe it’s a slow, cinematic scene when there’s no dialogue and the music swells. Avoid making your move during an especially tense moment, such as a chase scene or a scene with complex dialogue. When you put your arm around her, the movie is the last thing that she will be thinking about, and she might be irritated if you make her miss something important.
Play it cool. Be casual and nonchalant. If she doesn’t shake your arm away, there’s a good chance that she’s into it. Leave your arm where it is and keep watching the show. Keep acting the same way that you were doing before, but feel about ten times cooler. If she shrugs your arm away or moves your arm off of her shoulder, don’t push it. She isn’t in the mood, or she isn’t interested. Keep your cool and keep watching the show.
Take a big, theatrical yawn, reach your arms high into the air, and lay one arm down on her shoulders. Rest your arm there unless she shrugs you away. The yawn is a cheesy move, to be sure, but it might make her laugh and break the tension of the moment.
