You may notice borrowing becomes an issue. They borrow money and never pay you back. Borrow your clothes, property, and never give it back. Or, they return it damaged. They may even let other people use/wear your belongings, without asking you first. They may also ask for a favor but can never return a favor. When you tell them that you have something new (clothes, furniture, even friends), see if they pay more attention to you.
This type of person seems to always have an opinion about everything. An opinion is a person’s ideas and thoughts towards something. It is an assessment, judgment or evaluation of something. An egocentric person has no theory of mind, cannot feel empathy for others, and believes everyone sees what he/she sees (or that what he/she sees in some way exceeds what others see). It appears that this is shown mostly in younger children. They are unable to separate their own beliefs, thoughts and ideas from others, and if you share your ideas, they’ll criticize them or ignore you. A true friendship should never be 1-sided. [1] X Expert Source Tala Johartchi, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.
This type of person may stay mad at you when both of you have had a fight. This is because they only accept their point of view. Pay attention to how they tell stories. They’ll start off with beginnings like “Oh my gosh. . . " and “I can’t believe. . . “. They’ll often scream “You don’t understand what I’m going through!” They crave attention and steal the spotlight.
This friend might also ask you to constantly “rescue” them, which is a big red flag. [2] X Expert Source Tala Johartchi, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.
You might notice that these people always need to know everything. For example, you may be talking to another friend about a confidence and she/he was not right there, but comes across the room wanting to know what you’re talking about. Well, okay, that can be nothing; don’t be paranoid. It may be a “close-friend” but a spy could and would go much further, often really trying to overhear conversations, and sneaking to read email, or borrowing cell phones, reading texts, between you and other people. Spies often lie. They may lie about their name, age, etc. to you. Be careful of extremes of nosiness. They may soon blackmail or bully you. If you feel intimidated or threatened by this person, tell an authority or elder you trust.
If you say “I’m going to compliment [someone]’s shoes”, they will beat you to it and act like it was their own observation. If you say, “I think [someone] will be good for a job opening I saw”, they’ll chase the person down and suggest applying for the job. If you work with someone like this, they’ll take credit for your ideas and tell the boss about your latest, greatest thoughts, saying: “I was just thinking . . . " after you explained to them how you arrived at your conclusion. They’ll copy your ideas, your favorites, and your observations. If you are in school with this person, she’ll run to the professor with every brilliant insight you share and pretend ownership. This person is very insecure and needs you to show her the way; she feels entitled to share in all your relationships.
Decide whether this person is even worth keeping as an acquaintance. This will depend on the context––if you need to keep working with this person or seeing them at family get-together, then keeping a calm and distanced acquaintanceship may be the best option. On the other hand, if this person has no other formal links to your life, you may wish to cut the bond entirely. A friendship may not be worth it if you’re always feeling disappointed or unfulfilled. [3] X Expert Source Tala Johartchi, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 16 July 2021. Your friends should be willing to grow and evolve instead of getting stuck in patterns of constant denial. [4] X Expert Source Tala Johartchi, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.
Avoid using blame language. Although you don’t want to say “it isn’t you, it’s me” type language, you do want to make it clear that this is about your feelings and your peace of mind. Avoid insulting the character of the other person or blaming them for your feelings. Remind the other person of the other friends in their life, and even recommend a new friend if this seems appropriate.
