The antisocial features of malignant narcissism make the person paranoid, aggressive, and dangerous. Malignant narcissism is one of the most dangerous forms of narcissism. They often hurt the people they love to get what they want, and they seek revenge against anyone who slights them. [2] X Research source
It’s likely that malignant narcissism has a mix of causes.
Indulged children may have trouble accepting consequences and often have an inflated self-esteem. On the other hand, abused children can develop narcissism as a way of dealing with their pain.
Entitlement. Self-importance. Arrogance and looking down on other people. Desire to take advantage of others. Preoccupations with success or prestige. Envy of others or a belief that others envy them.
Lacking empathy and remorse. Charming people to manipulate them. Lying. Ignoring right and wrong, or violating rules. Feelings of superiority. Impulsive, aggressive, or violent impulses. Failing to meet responsibilities. Refusing to acknowledge consequences.
When they tell you something, say something like, “That’s cool,” “Thanks for sharing that with me,” or “Sounds interesting. ” If they ask you a question, respond with a generic answer, like, “I’ve just been busy lately,” or “I haven’t really thought about that. ”
“We need to finish up these reports today. Do you have the data?” “We have a lot to do around the house this weekend. I’ll clean out the garage if you can take care of the yard. ” “We need to work out our childcare schedule for summer. ”
“I wonder what people would think about that?” “Do you think this could hurt your reputation?” “I have a friend who did this, and people really judged them for it. ”
If you work with a narcissist, only talk to them about work situations. If you have a narcissistic friend or relative, tell them things you’ve made public, but keep your secrets to yourself. If your ex is a narcissist, only talk about your kids. If you’re childless, cut them out of your life because they’ll just make you miserable. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, try to limit your conversations to your household, your family, and things you’re comfortable with everyone knowing.
If the malignant narcissist often asks for favors, decide in advance if you will agree to do certain things. Let’s say they often ask for free childcare. If you don’t want to babysit, plan to say “no” when they ask.
A narcissist will typically repeat this process multiple times so they can keep using you. Just as you start to pull away, they’ll begin love bombing you again.
“I’d love to get your opinion on something. Can we meet in my office?” “I really need to talk to you, and I was hoping we could do it in private. ” “Can we talk after the kids go to bed?”
You might not say anything when they’re wrong about something unimportant, they’re a little late, or they forget about something.
You deserve to be treated well, but a malignant narcissist just takes advantage of others. As much as it hurts, you’ll be happier in the long-run if you stop trying to turn them into a better person.
Attending events on Meetup. Connecting with people on social media. Volunteering for a cause you care about. Attending a workshop or class. Joining a fitness class or group.
You can find a therapist online at Psychology Today. You can also locate a therapist by checking the list of providers who take your health insurance.
Ask your friends and family to support you as you move on from this relationship.
