He or she has not paid even a single time throughout the dating period. Even if he or she did, you had to persuade him or her and ask him or her to do so. When he or she did, it would be during “major events” such as Valentine’s Day, your birthday or his or her birthday. Maybe there is a series of “break-ups” prior to such events, with make-ups after the event has taken place, making gift giving easy to avoid. Your partner asks you to invest for him or her with Your Money. Your partner asks you to purchase everything for him or her, from food, for his or her cats/dogs/pets to his or her desktop Mac and laptop, clothing, costly sunglasses in an expensive brand and gifts for his or her family during Christmas. You agree to almost all of your partner’s requests to go for a mini-vacation with him or her and end up paying for them all. Make sure that you get all the rewards where you both stayed - that’s the best you can do for yourself so you can apply the points towards your next break away from him or her––for good! Your partner asks you to pay for his or her monthly car payment or other expenses he or she has. He or she asks for your credit/debit card and also your PIN number so he or she can use it towards anything possible in your absence. The relationship starts to evolve more with what he or she wants and how much he wants you to spend on him or her than us. You just cannot catch a break from not paying anything or everything for him or her.
For example, if your partner has managed to brainwash you to believe everything he or she says, causing you to push aside your priorities such as your family, friends and work, then your personal life suffers a great deal. When he or she keeps chiding and criticizing every move you make because it is not according to what he or she desires you to be, see this as a red flag. Note how often your partner shows loving care towards you. If he or she rarely compliments how you look but will carelessly say something along the lines of, “I would like to date someone else - how do you feel about that?”, it’s clear he or she isn’t caring about you. Does he or she listen to you? When you confide in him or her about your problem such as a tough day/week at work, he or she refuses to listen to what you have to say, or even he or she does, manages to turn the focus back on himself or herself, on how hard his or her life has been. Is there abuse involved? If, when you decide not to give in to your partner with what he or she wants, he or she will start yelling at you and calling you names. In some cases, this may escalate to physically abusing you. Do not let physical abuse occur. Once you have established the emotional and mental abuse, immediately seek the help needed to get out of the abusive relationship before you get hurt. You do not deserve the harm.
Watch for change of plans. Say that you spend three days in a week with him or her. However, when you both made plans (usually he or she will make the plans), he or she will change it at the last moment. For example, he or she plans on going camping for the weekend and when the weekend comes along, your partner said he or she would rather you both go to the movies. Notice his or her feelings for you. One day he or she will express undying love for you and wants to be married (even though he or she repeatedly scoffs at commitment) but the next day, he or she wants to date other people. This is all said to hurt you. Notice the angelic behavior in public. In the presence of his or her family and friends, this person will be extremely charming and very loving towards you. Away from others, he or she will not show any affection at all and will repeatedly reinforce that you both are just friends. Watch for jealousy. It is a common factor in any relationship but is also a good sign of exploitative behavior.
