Studies have found journaling to be a great method for becoming more self-aware and reflective towards one’s personal strengths and desires. [2] X Research source This can be as simple as listing all of the most memorable moments of a given day to writing detailed narratives about your deepest thoughts and desires. The more you come to know yourself, the easier it will be for you to identify your personal strengths. [3] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source
Think about a few people you respect. What do you admire about them? What traits do they possess that you value? How do you see these in your own life? Imagine you could change one thing about your community. What would it be? Why? What do you think that shows about what’s most important to you? Remember a moment in your life where you felt very satisfied or fulfilled. What was that moment? What happened? Who were you with? Why did you feel that way? Imagine that your house is on fire (but all pets and people are safe) and you can save just 3 objects. What would you save, and why?
You can find lists of value words online, if you need help putting your own into words.
For example, perhaps you value Ambition and Competition, but you feel stuck at a dead-end job where you’re never challenged or given an opportunity to prove yourself. You might feel that you have a weakness in this area because your life isn’t currently aligned with what’s very important to you. Or perhaps you are a new mother who really wants to go back to your job as a teacher because you value Intellectual Status. You might feel that “being a good mom” is a weakness because your value (of achieving Intellectual Status) appears to conflict with another value (Family-Orientedness). In this case, you can figure out how to balance your values so that you honor both. Wanting to go back to your job doesn’t mean you don’t also want to enjoy your new child.
For example, if you live in a rural area where everyone works with their hands, the members of this community will likely value attributes related to physical labor and working long hours during the day. If you happen to live in a large city, however, these attributes might not appear as important, unless you happen to work some other manual labor job. Consider whether or not the environment you live in is conducive to your own strengths and personal attributes. If they aren’t, think about how you can either change the situation or move to an environment within which your personal strengths might be more highly valued. [8] X Research source
Thinking of people to ask in all different areas will help you assess your personality on many levels and within many situations. [9] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
E-mail is typically the best way to do it because it takes the pressure off of doing it on the spot, gives them time to think of a response, and allows them to be more honest. Plus, it helps to have it all in writing for your later analysis. [11] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
It might help to make a table with a column for the name of the trait, a column for each response, and a column for your interpretation. For example, multiple people in your life told you that you handle things well under pressure, are good in a crisis, and can help manage other people in stressful situations. This means that you can stay calm under pressure, and you’re likely a strong and natural leader. You can also read it as you are compassionate to others and are a people person.
This isn’t meant to be a complete psychological profile, but an in depth portrait of your best self. It reminds you of the characteristics you use when you are at your best and can help lead your future actions on how to strive to use them more.
The reason for doing this is that the spontaneous reactions tell you a lot about how you react in both ordinary and intense situations. You can write them down to help you decipher your actions and abilities.
If you took control and acted as a leader, you probably feel that courage and being able to handle these situations is a strength. If you reacted by crying uncontrollably, feeling helpless or lashing out at others, staying in self-control during a challenging situation might be a weakness. [13] X Research source Make sure to consider things from several angles. For example, feeling helpless after a car crash is a perfectly natural reaction to the stress of the experience. But, if you went to ask for help from someone, this suggests that asking others for help (collaboration) could be a strength. You do not always have to do everything yourself to be strong.
The person connecting with others is strong at socializing and being extroverted, while the quieter person is strong at connecting individually and listening. Both these strengths can be used to the person’s natural advantage. [14] X Research source
Remember that any strength you might have developed can sometimes have tradeoffs. If you spend most of your life alone reading and writing, for example, you might not be as apt at small talk as other people, but you will probably have a knack for finding the plot of a book and discussing deep topics with others. You also may have grown up with younger siblings, which means you may be compassionate, patient, and good at diffusing situations. It’s important to keep in mind that the world needs many different people with different types of strengths and interests in order to be as diverse as it is. You don’t necessarily need to be good at everything, just at what you consider important for yourself. The person who rattles off a brilliant comeback or who solves a problem quickly may have quick-wittedness as a strength, and perhaps focus on fine detail as a weakness. The person who takes time to think could be described as having planning as a strength and perhaps limited nimbleness as a weakness.
Ask yourself, “What are my desires in life?” Whether you’re applying for your first job or have just settled into retirement, you should always have goals and yearnings in life. Determine what drives you and what makes you happy.
Make a list of the activities or things you do that make you happy and provide you with pleasure. Most likely, these areas where you find your hobbies are some strong areas for you. What activities make you get lost in the moment and enter a state of flow? Those can guide you to your strengths. [16] X Expert Source Adrian Klaphaak, CPCCLife Coach Expert Interview. 18 December 2018.
Note that many people feel desires very early on in life, indicating the childlike self-knowledge that many come to lose when family, peer, and social expectations or financial pressures push the initial desires down deep. [17] X Research source
Weaknesses could be conceived as something about yourself that you either have the power to improve, insofar as they are at all related to your desires, or are perhaps simply not relevant to your desires or goals in life whatsoever. Acknowledging either one is acceptable. Weaknesses are not permanent aspects of ourselves, but instead are changeable aspects of how we do things so we can become even more excellent.
However, an apparent “weakness” may merely be an indication that a particular activity just isn’t for you, which can be an important thing to admit to yourself. If everyone had the ability to be good at, or even enjoyed, all of the same activities, then the world would likely be a very boring place. [19] X Research source
For example, if you want to work on becoming more assertive, first start with what assertiveness skills you feel you’re already doing. Maybe you have trouble saying no, but instead you have the ability to state your intentions in a way where your intention is understood and you can spare the feelings of the person. [20] X Research source Buckingham, M. , & Clifton, D. O. (2001). Now, Discover Your Strengths (Abridged edition). New York, NY: Simon & Schuster Audio. Think about aspects of your personality that you consider strengths. Being kind, generous, open-minded, or a good listener are extremely important strengths that relate to your overall abilities that might get overlooked. Be conscious of these and take pride in them. Another way to think about strengths is to consider them talents, or innate abilities and desires that fit with your sense of self and vision for the future. In other words, these are the things that you’d say “It wasn’t effort, I’ve always had the ability to” do some kind of activity well.
Remember, no one is grading you or judging you based on your responses, so be honest with yourself. It might help to draw up two columns with the headings “Strengths” and “Weaknesses. " Write them down as they come to you. [21] X Research source
How about mismatches between your desires and what you think your strengths are? This mismatch can happen where you’ve tried to do things with your life based on other’s expectations or on your own ideas about what ought to be done, while your desires and actual reactions have been considerably different.
Focus on those areas that differ and try to identify situations that address the area. For example, did you write that you aspire to become a singer, but on your lists of believed strengths, you said that you were good at science or medicine? While a singing doctor might be a novelty, the two professions differ considerably. Figure out which area really motivates you in the long-term.
If you don’t think that a family member can be honest, choose someone who will give you the truth and not sugarcoat or gloss over your weaknesses. Find an external, neutral person, preferably a peer or a mentor, to give you honest, constructive feedback. Ask for feedback on your lists. Have your outside person review and comment on your lists. Helpful comments and questions may include, “What makes you think that you don’t act quickly in emergency situations?” The outside observer may recall an instance where you were the hero of the day during an emergency although you may have forgotten.
While these tests won’t necessarily give you the essence of your personality, they can nonetheless serve as helpful jumping off points for thinking about your strengths and weaknesses. From this, you should find out what they consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. A good test should be long in order to draw out the repeated aspects of your personality. After taking a test like this, be sure to talk directly with the psychologist to work out weaknesses and uncover strengths. There are online tests you can take to assess your strengths and weaknesses. Look for tests that are on reputable sites and that have been compiled by licensed psychologists or similarly-qualified professionals. If there is a cost involved, do some research about the company providing the tests first to make sure you’re getting value for money.
Enlist in a class or find activities that will address your weaknesses. For example, if you find that you become a deer in headlights when confronted with a spontaneous situation, put yourself in situations where spontaneity occurs. Examples including joining a community theater, participating on a sports team, or doing karaoke at the bar. Consider therapy or ways to talk about fears or concerns. If taking a class or joining a theater group doesn’t seem to do the trick or you have deep rooted fears or anxiety that prevent you from moving forward, consider talking with a therapist.
For example, you want to improve your communication skills. After some self-reflection, you decide you are actually a pretty good listener, which is your strength. However, you clam up when it’s your turn to speak, which is your weakness. You decide you want to be more verbal, so you work on interjecting maybe a sentence or two within the conversation at small pauses. A perfectionist approach might say that because you are not currently good at speaking, you can’t even bother to work on it because you will make mistakes. Acknowledge that mistakes are part of learning and growth and allow yourself to make them as you develop yourself.
This might be sport, art, creative pursuits, interacting with animals, or standing in for someone who is away and doing their job. Not everyone will experience the same amazing moments as you, but when you have them, work with it to enhance your life and reach your true potential.
For example, if you are applying to be a computer programmer, talk about your strengths that relate to computers or problem solving. However, it might not be especially pertinent to go into detail about your strengths regarding ping pong, unless this is something the employer seems to have an interest in already.
Before going into the interview, think of as many concrete instances to talk about through which your personal strengths will be made apparent. Interviewers don’t just want to hear what you think your strengths are, but will likely ask for concrete situations within which your personal strengths were essential to how you engaged with whatever problems or obstacles came up. Reflect on these, maybe writing down as many as you can, so that you can go into the interview situation as prepared as possible. [26] X Research source Wyatt, W. (2014). Job Interview: That Job Is MINE! - Proven Strategies to Ace Job Interviews & Get Hired In the Blink of an Eye. For example, instead of saying “A strength is that I’m detail-oriented,” give a concrete example: “In my previous job I was responsible for double-checking all the figures in our monthly budgets. In several cases I caught errors that would have cost our company significant money. This attention to detail will serve me well in this position with your company. "
“I’m a perfectionist and I can’t stand to get things wrong. " Perfectionism is unlikely to strike employers as a true strength, as it suggests that you hold yourself and others to unreasonable standards and may also have trouble with procrastination. [30] X Research source “I’m stubborn and I don’t let things go. " This may suggest that you are not good at being flexible and adaptable. “I struggle to maintain a good work/life balance because I work so hard. " This may suggest that you can’t take care of yourself and are more likely to burn out or be an unpleasant colleague.
Being overly critical Being suspicious of authority, of peers Being too demanding Procrastinating Being too talkative Being too sensitive Exhibiting a lack of assertiveness Exhibiting a lack of social tact
For example, tell them “Right now I am a procrastinator. I realize that this affects the amount of work that I could get done, as well as potentially the work that my colleagues could get done. In college, I got away with it because I knew the system, found a way to game it, and still got my work done. I realize that this won’t work in the professional world, because it’s really not a great way to work, meet my goals, and get things done. "
For example, tell the interviewer, “I’m taking serious steps to curb my habit of procrastination. I’m setting artificial deadlines for myself and offering personal incentives to meet those deadlines. This has considerably helped with my issue. "
Knowledge-based skills, such as computer skills, languages, or technical know-how Transferable skills, such as communication and people management skills or problem solving Personal traits, such as sociability, confidence, or punctuality[34] X Research source
“I am an excellent communicator. I care about the words that I use, and about avoiding ambiguity when I communicate. I’m not afraid to follow up with someone who’s senior to me when I don’t understand them. I take the time to imagine how different people might interpret questions or statements differently. " You can also demonstrate your strengths and skill set by sharing what went well in the past and where you have succeeded in your efforts. If you have won any awards or acknowledgements, you can mention them too.
