Depending on the situation, you may want to respond to a text or email by simply telling your ex that you are not interested in talking to him. [3] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 February 2022. If he is being completely unreasonable, don’t bother responding. If you are getting threatening messages from your ex or he is stalking you, report the behavior to the police immediately. You may be able to get a restraining order to keep him from contacting you or coming near you. If your ex-boyfriend will not stop calling, texting, or emailing you, you can block his number and email address. If he is very persistent and starts calling you from other people’s phones or emailing you from different addresses, you might want to consider changing your phone number and/or email address. Most social media sites allow multiple options for blocking or ignoring a person. If you want to prevent your ex-boyfriend from viewing your profile and you want him to get the message that you don’t want any contact with him, block him. If you don’t want to take it to that extreme, but you also don’t want to see any updates from your ex, ignore or unfollow him. [4] X Research source If possible, avoid places where you know you are likely to run into your ex. If this is not possible, just keep walking when you see him instead of stopping to talk.
Don’t go overboard by literally pretending not to see him. This will probably make him think that you’re uncomfortable being around him, which is not what you want. Instead, address him as you would a stranger. Keep your interactions brief and avoid body language that suggests intimacy, like direct eye contact. If you’re with a group of people, make an effort to talk to other people in the group instead of to your ex-boyfriend. If your ex starts talking to you, respond politely, but very briefly, so he will know you’re not interested in talking. [7] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 February 2022. For example, if he says, “That math test was really hard. How do you think you did,” just say, “Fine,” and show no interest in continuing the conversation. If your ex-boyfriend tries to use other people to give you messages, respond according to the situation. If the messenger is your friend, just tell him that you’re not interested in hearing what your ex has to say and you hope that he won’t let that get in the way of your friendship. If the messenger is not your friend and has been sent by your ex to say something mean to you, just ignore him.
It might be tempting to replace your ex with a new boyfriend, but don’t do this unless you’re really ready to commit yourself to a new relationship. If you do feel ready, then go ahead and date new people.
If you and your ex-boyfriend are in the same social circles, it will help if he sees you looking happy and enjoying life without him. This will make him feel like none of the mean things he’s been doing are having any effect on you.
Depending on the relationship that both you and your ex have with your friends, you may have to be willing to cut ties with some of them. Keep in mind that someone who encourages your ex to be mean to you is not really your friend at all. Talking to your friends about the situation will also give you a way to vent. Supportive friends will make you feel good about yourself, which will make it much easier to deal with your mean ex.
