Most disabled people (75%) prefer “identity first” language,[3] X Trustworthy Source Austistic Self Advocacy Network Nonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy Go to source which puts the disability before the word person or people. For example, you would say “his sister Angelica is autistic,” rather than “his sister Angelica is a person with autism. ” Most disabled people find that this is more respectful, because person-first language implies they can set their disability aside and pick it back up. This isn’t always possible, in which case you could say, “Robert has cerebral palsy,” “Leslie has ADHD,” or “Sarah uses assistive devices,” Take your lead from the person you are interacting with. If they refer to themselves as a person with a disability, ask if they want to be described that way. Some groups have specific terminology, like the D(d)eaf/hoh community, where the terms deaf and hard of hearing describe their disability, but the term Deaf (with an uppercase D) to refer to the culture or someone who is part of it. [4] X Research source If in doubt, just politely ask the individual you’re talking to what they prefer.
It is appropriate to slow down your speech for someone who is hard of hearing or has a cognitive disability. Equally, it may be acceptable to talk to people who have hearing loss in a louder than average voice, so that they are able to hear you. Usually, someone will mention it to you if you are speaking too quietly. [5] X Research source You may also ask whether you are speaking too quickly, or ask them to tell you if you need to slow down or speak more clearly if necessary. Don’t feel like you have to reduce your vocabulary to the most basic words. The only time you may be asked to simplify your language, is if you are talking to someone who has a severe intellectual or communication difficulty. Baffling your conversational partner is unlikely to be viewed as good mannered and neither is talking at somebody who is unable to follow what you are talking about. However, if in doubt, speak casually and ask about their language needs.
If you introduce someone, you don’t need to introduce their disability as well. You can say “This is my co-worker, Susan” without saying “This is my co-worker, Susan, who is deaf. ” It may be appropriate to say “This is my co-worker, Susan. Please face her when you’re talking to her. ” But this is on a case-by-case basis. You can always offer to make sure people will be mindful of their needs, but you shouldn’t do so without asking first. If you use a common phrase like “I gotta run!” to someone in a wheelchair, don’t apologize. These types of phrases are not intended to be hurtful, and by apologizing you’ll simply be drawing attention to your awareness of their disability. [6] X Research source
Even if the person doesn’t have typical listening body language (e. g. an autistic person who doesn’t look at you), don’t assume that they can’t hear you. Speak to them.
Someone with a speech impediment might be particularly difficult to understand, so don’t rush them to talk faster and ask them to repeat themselves if necessary. Some people need extra time to process speech or turn their thoughts into spoken words (regardless of intellectual ability). It’s okay if there are long pauses in the conversation.
Assuming you know what their disability is can be offensive; it is better to ask than to presume knowledge. [10] X Research source
A good habit to be in is to act kindly and considerately towards everyone; you can’t know someone’s situation by just looking at them. Some disabilities vary from day to day: someone who needed a wheelchair yesterday might only need a cane today. This doesn’t mean they’re faking it or “getting better,” just that they have good days and bad days like everyone else. A large percentage of wheelchair users are what’s called “ambulatory wheelchair users,” meaning they can walk or stand, but it is dangerous or painful for them to do so. A wheelchair is not limiting, it allows them greater access. By the same token, most blind people have some remaining vision. If they say they like your shirt color, don’t say “how can you see it?” Just say thank you, and move on. Avoid expressing sympathy for their disability. Don’t say “this is so beautiful, I wish you could see it. ” Instead you can say “the sunset is really pretty right now, do you want me to describe it?”
Therefore, you should talk to disabled people as you would anyone else. Welcome a disabled coworker as you would anyone else new to your workplace. Never stare or act condescending or patronizing. Don’t focus on their disability. It is not important that you figure out the nature of someone’s disability. It is only important that you treat them equally, talk to them as you would to anyone else, and act as you would normally act if a new person entered into your life.
Many disabled people are hesitant to ask for help, but may be grateful for an offer. For example, if you go shopping with a friend who uses a wheelchair, you could ask if they need assistance carrying their bags or attaching them to their wheelchair. Offering to help a friend is not usually offensive. If you are not sure of a specific way to help, you can ask, “Is there anything that I can do to help you right now?” Never ‘help’ someone without asking first; for example, do not grab someone’s wheelchair and try to push them up a steep ramp. You wouldn’t want someone to start moving your legs for you. Instead, ask if they need a push or if you can do anything else to make it easier for them to navigate the terrain. [12] X Research source
Don’t give a service animal food or treats of any kind without permission. Don’t try to distract a service animal by calling it pet names, even if you don’t actually pet or touch it.
Treat disability equipment like extensions of their body: you wouldn’t grab and move someone’s hand or decide to lean up against their shoulder. Behave the same way towards their equipment. Any tool or device a person might use to help with their disability, such as a hand-held translator or an oxygen tank, should never be touched unless you are directed to do so.
A person who becomes disabled as a result of an accident later in life may require more help than someone with a lifelong disability, but you should always wait until they ask for your help before assuming they need it. Don’t avoid asking someone who’s disabled to do a certain task because you worry they can’t accomplish it. If you do offer help, make the offer genuine and specific. If you are offering from a place of genuine kindness, and not an assumption that the person cannot do something, you’re less likely to offend.
Do not touch anyone’s equipment or animal without asking. Remember that a wheelchair or other aid is personal space; it’s part of the person. Please respect that.
