Try inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 2, exhaling for 8, waiting for 2 and repeat. This will help to calm you down.
If things come to a head, don’t be afraid to be the stronger person and just walk away. It’s easier to let the other person calm down a bit and try to talk later, and it will be easier for both of you.
For example if someone said they’d do something for you and they forgot, don’t get annoyed. Instead, ask them if they could remember to do it at the next possible moment and send them a text close to that time to remind them to do it. Don’t focus on the fact that they forgot, forgive them and move on, it’s not worth the hassle for you.
If you’re communicating with this person through texting or messaging, then avoid using all capitals and focus on your punctuation. “Please could you not do that” is much more polite and calmer than “DNT DO THT” this will also work to help calm the other person down if they are reacting like this.
Snap out of autopilot. When you approach the world with a set of expectations and run yourself according to that instead of being flexible and aware of the moment, it’s easy to become annoyed. You’re actually not ready for interacting clearly with other people in this situation because you’re following a prepared script of how the world “ought to be” rather than how it actually is. Teach yourself to be more aware of the world around you and less determined to shape it to your preferences.
Mindfulness takes practice. It’s not something you whip out for use once in a while––it’s a whole way of being, of thinking and of approaching the world. To assist you, see further How to be mindful and How to exercise mindfulness to be happier. Mindfulness allows you to access your self- and other-compassion. This is vital for effective treatment of annoyance.
