Taking deep breaths can be done anywhere: at work, at home, in your car, doing dishes, in the shower, or whenever you feel like your nerves are creeping up on you. If you can, try to focus on breathing all the way down in to your belly, and exhaling back from your belly.
Identify the most immediate issue that is bothering you. Locate points on your body to tap. Some of these include:[3] X Research source The outside of your hand on the fleshy part. On the top center of your head. The point where your eyebrow begins. On the bone outside the corner of your eye. Under your nose at the top of your upper lip. Use two fingers to tap on one of the points. Tap about five times on the point. Move on to the next point. Repeat acceptance to yourself. For example, as you tap, say to yourself, “Even though I feel like I’m going to cry every minute, I deeply and completely accept myself. ”
Notice any tension you might be holding in your muscles and let your breath and focus on the numbers ease the tension away.
For example, teddy bears may hold a nostalgic meaning of safety and comfort, or there may be certain movies that make you feel inspired. Perhaps a certain famous person reminds you to be strong in the face of adversity. Looking at pictures of your children or loved ones may bring you feelings of empowerment.
Studies suggest that developing flexibility so that you are able to shift your attention between something difficult and something you enjoy is key to managing negative emotions. [6] X Research source Derryberry & Rothbart, 1997; Lonigan & Phillips, 2001; White, Helfinstein, Reeb-Sutherland, Degnan, & Fox, 2009
Use a journal to write down things that help you release emotions and always remember, as painful as an emotion may seem, it is just an emotion and it will pass. You are an individual and the best way for you to release your emotions is to find and write in your journal what works best for you.
Experts actually don’t recommend that you express your anger by smashing or hitting things, or doing anything violent to release your anger. These actions may actually increase your feelings of anger, not lessen them. [9] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source On the other hand, getting some exercise can be a great way to release pent-up anger. Several studies suggest that taking a good run or getting other forms of aerobic exercise help you feel calmer after an upsetting experience. [10] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source This is because exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood-elevating chemicals. [11] X Research source See the wikiHow article Release Anger for more ways to safely express your anger in healthy ways.
In your emotions journal, write down how it felt to be sad, how it felt in your body, what were things that helped you get in touch with your sadness. There is always sadness in tough times, allow yourself the courage to feel your sadness and release. [12] X Research source Mikolajczak, et al.
In your emotions journal, write down everything you are afraid of concerning the challenging time you are going through. Then begin writing down all of the possible outcomes that you can think of, whether they are positive or negative. Also write down changes you might make to your life situation that you would be scared of. Write down the reasons why you are afraid of making these changes. Keep journaling until you find yourself at the root of your fear. Releasing your emotions to the point where you can start being proactive and at least aware of your options can help you stay calm. You can’t make all the difficult life events go away, but you can understand your fear, and that in itself will help ease your fear. [13] X Research source Mikolajczak, et al.
For example, imagine that you’re frustrated at work because your work never gets credit. However, you’re afraid of saying anything. Just the thought of talking to your boss fills you with terror. Explore why you’re afraid. Is it because your boss has a history of being unreceptive to others’ ideas, and so you’re worried that he won’t listen to you? Is it because you don’t feel confident talking to people in a position of authority? Are you worried that bringing up the idea of getting credit for your work will sound needy or demanding, and you might lose your job? Figuring out why you’re afraid will help you take the next step. Once you have some idea of why you’re afraid, consider ways you could approach the situation that would help you deal with that fear. For example, if you don’t feel confident talking to authority figures, you could ask a friend to practice with you. Script a conversation with your boss the way you hope it would go, and the way you’re afraid it will go. Then, practice with your friend. This will give you a safe way to trouble-shoot and may help build your confidence. Be patient with yourself. Dealing with fears can be a lifelong learning process, and it may take some time for you to overcome the ones you’re currently dealing with.
If you can’t find a meditation class near you, you can find many online. The UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center has several downloadable MP3 meditation guides. [19] X Research source There are also several mobile apps that offer guided meditations and mini-meditations. And of course, wikiHow has many articles to help you learn to meditate.
The University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center has a website with many mindfulness techniques that you can try in your everyday life. Many mindfulness exercises can be done in just a few minutes a day. For example, the next time you have a snack, slow it way down. Try to focus on all aspects of the experience, using all of your senses. What do you smell, see, hear, taste, and touch? What does it feel like to eat this food? Can you sense the food going down your throat into your stomach? Paying attention to the little things will help you practice mindfulness in your daily life. [21] X Research source
Write down your accomplishments that you’re proud of. Write down the last time you made someone smile. Make a list of things that you like about your character, things that make you brave, times you have had to persevere. Add to the list every day.
Make a list of all the negative thoughts you have about yourself related to your situation, and then reframe them into positive, realistic statements. Black and white statements like “Everything always goes wrong in my life” can gnaw away at your feelings of self-worth. Try to reframe statements like this with thoughts like “Life is really challenging. Everyone goes through tough times. There have been times in my life that haven’t gone wrong too. ” Then you can make a list of things that haven’t gone wrong, just for a reminder! [23] X Research source Davey, Maureen; Eaker, Dawn Goettler; Walters, Lynda Henley. Resilience Processes in Adolescents: Personality Profiles, Self-Worth, and Coping. By: Journal of Adolescent Research, v18 n4 p347-62 Jul 2003.
In your emotions journal, start a gratitude list. Write down things you are grateful for every day, no matter how large or small. Maybe you saw a blade of grass that was exceptionally green. Write it down in your gratitude journal. Maybe you didn’t give up today and decided to face your challenges as best as you can. Sometimes, not giving up is the best we can do. Write “I didn’t give up today” in big bold letters and be proud of yourself. If it’s helpful, look at pictures of outer space to give you the perspective of the strange world of nature, the mystery of life, and the beauty that is all around us. Gain strength in knowing that humans are capable of surviving all sorts of tough times, and you are one of them.
Why did you decide to seek out ways to stay calm so that you can handle it? Is it for your children? Yourself? Your loved ones? Your pets? Because you want your life? Internalizing your own meaning will help you stay focused and calm as you wrestle with your life struggles. [25] X Research source Das, Ajit K. Frankl and the realm of meaning. By: Journal of Humanistic Education & Development. Jun98, Vol. 36 Issue 4, p199.
Eat healthy foods that are good for your body and brain such as fruits, vegetables, protein, and healthy grains.
Walk up and down steps for 10 minutes. Take a small run. Do something active to get your blood pumping and to relieve your stress.
