Does she hold eye contact? If she looks directly into your eyes and maintains solid eye contact, it’s a sign that, at the very least, she’s engaged with you in the conversation. Notice as well if her eyes seem to get large while looking at you. Often when people like what they see, their pupils will dilate and their eyes will widen slightly. Does she smile and laugh? If she sincerely smiles and laughs at appropriate times during the conversation, it will tell you she’s enjoying the conversation. That in and of itself isn’t a reason to immediately go in for a kiss, but it’s a good sign. [2] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Does she keep glancing at your lips? If so, it may be a sign she’s thinking about kissing. But take it in context, though, because she may also just be in the habit of glancing at someone’s mouth when they talk.
If she seems bored or anxious to get through the date, it’s most often a pretty clear sign she’s not going to feel ready for a kiss. If she’s enthusiastic during the date and suggests you go somewhere else to prolong the date–to get coffee, go for a walk, etc. –it’s a good sign that she’s enjoying the date and may be open to a goodnight kiss.
If she’s actively involved in the conversation and asks questions that are aimed at getting to know you better, it’s a signal that she’s interested in you and may be developing some affection. If she talks mostly about herself, dismisses your comments, or sits in stony silence, take that as a pretty clear cue she isn’t very interested. If the conversation turns toward increasingly intimate subjects, it’s often a sign you’re both comfortable and perhaps also attracted to each other.
If she turns her body towards you (shoulders, chest, and legs or feet), leans forward, and keeps her arms open rather than crossed, those are all positive body language cues. An open posture, while a good sign, needs to be taken in context as part of a series of positive cues. A woman may have open and engaged body posture but may be feeling more friendly than amorous. If she gets close enough to touch and/or frequently leans into your personal space, that’s often a strong indicator of interest–just be sure she isn’t leaning in simply because it’s hard to hear you.
If she stiffens or pulls away, that’s a sign she’s not yet comfortable, and going in for a kiss now probably won’t go well. If she blushes, giggles, or smiles, those are signs she’s comfortable with you and would possibly be receptive to a kiss. If she lingers or presses against you while you’re saying your goodbyes, it’s often a sign that she’s reciprocating your affection.
Asking her permission before assuming she wants to kiss can be a sign of consideration on your part, and either way, you’ll find out where you stand. [6] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
If you give off the right signals, she could very well take note and reciprocate so that the kiss happens naturally and doesn’t feel awkward or unexpected. The first thing to do when trying to engage in a kiss is to move closer. If you’re sitting, sit so that part of your leg touches hers. If you’re standing, stand close to her and take or touch her hand. If she moves back when you try to move in closer or pulls away from your touch, it’s a pretty clear sign that she doesn’t want to get affectionate.
Hold meaningful eye contact and move your gaze from her left eye to her right eye to her mouth and back, pausing for just a moment on each. Most people can read that as a clear sign of the desire for a kiss. Slow things down. Slowing down the moment and the conversation can clear the way for an affectionate moment between you if she’s interested. So if you’re walking, slow down the pace. Let the conversation slow down but keep up meaningful closeness and eye contact. If she doesn’t return the same level of eye contact or seems to want to put distance between you, it probably means she read the signals you’re sending and is now sending signals of her own that she doesn’t want to be kissed.
Move in even closer and part your lips slightly, looking from her mouth to her eyes. If she reciprocates, looking into your eyes and gazing back and forth between them and your mouth, go for it and kiss her. If she looks awkward, tries to move away, or tries to divert the conversation to something safer, recognize that she isn’t ready and let it go.
If the kiss is successful, look her in the eyes, smile, and continue what the two of you were doing. Don’t gush or get wild and starry-eyed–you may come across as immature or too eager, both of which can be turn-offs. If the kiss isn’t successful, don’t panic or freak out. Most especially, don’t get angry or hostile. Either brush it off and go about what you were doing before or smile slightly and apologize.
