Being constructive and criticizing someone to put them down is not the same. A loving partner may offer help or constructive criticism if you make a mistake, but won’t try to shut you down or make you feel small. Everyone gets angry sometimes, and a partner who loves you will make an effort to express anger in healthy ways. They won’t use it to frighten or intimidate you. If your partner has anger issues and outbursts, agreeing to get help and fix this problem shows that they care for you and are willing to do the work so you’ll feel safe with them.
In opening up to you, they may talk about their childhood, greatest regrets, most painful moments, or romantic dreams for the future. If they say, “I’ve never told anyone this before. . . “, it’s a sign they love and trust you. Keep in mind that vulnerability and emotional intimacy doesn’t come naturally to everyone. They might not be comfortable with it, but if they love you, they’ll make an effort to learn and improve.
You can tell someone is actively listening because they’ll make eye contact, lean in towards you, and nod along to show you that they’re paying attention. Someone who loves you will do their best not to change the subject to something they want to talk about. They’ll hear you out, no matter what you need to say.
Study your partner the next time you have strong emotions, whether you’re upset and venting or delivering amazing news. When they love you, they may have a noticeable reaction that reflects your own feelings on the matter. Their reactions won’t always be as strong as yours, especially if the matter at hand is personal to you alone, but they’ll most likely echo your joy, sadness, and frustrations when you feel them.
A loving partner will be happy to give you advice when you ask, but won’t force it on you or withhold affection until you agree with them. Don’t be afraid to engage in a respectful debate with your partner. Debate can be a useful tool to learn about one another’s perspectives, so long as neither of you tries to make the other admit they’re wrong.
If there’s no reason to believe you’ve been dishonest, a loving partner will choose to trust you rather than let insecurities get the better of them. If your partner expresses discomfort about a friend of yours or tells you about an insecurity of theirs, that can also be a good sign! It likely means they want to communicate and get on the same page before trust becomes an issue.
Check in with yourself: do you feel supported? Is your partner willing to step up to the plate and be there for you? If so, they absolutely love you. If they really love you, they’ll encourage you to achieve your goals or pursue your interests, even when they won’t gain anything from doing so. Love is about being there for someone no matter what, accepting their positive and negative qualities, and sticking around during the good times and the bad.
Does your partner make plans with you as often (if not more often) than you do with them? That’s a surefire sign they’re falling for you! When you make plans with your partner, do they consistently follow through and show up on time? It means they’re eager to spend time with you. Even when your plans fall through—which happens from time to time—a lovestruck partner may quickly reschedule because they’ll want to see you as much as possible.
Keep track of the sentimental but subtle things your partner does for you over a few weeks or months. If you notice a sweet gesture here and there, they most likely love you. When they love you, your partner will be able to pick up on the hint that you might need a favor or help sometimes. Remember: true love isn’t just about what you can take from the person, but what you can give as well!
For example: say you have plans to spend the night with your partner but realize that you really need to go home and study for a test. A loving partner would try to understand that need, even though they’d be happier seeing you.
If they want to be around you every waking moment, it may be more of a sign of their insecurities than true love. Take note of their reaction when you tell them that you’re about to do something on your own, whether it’s spending time on one of your hobbies or hanging with a friend. If they love you, they usually won’t have a problem with seeing you head off on your own. They’ll likely even ask you how your day went and show interest in what you did while you were apart.
Everyone’s communication style is different. They don’t have to call you constantly or blow up your inbox with texts; even a simple “Good morning!” or “Thinking of you” text each day shows that you’re often on their mind.
Look for mentions of things like where you might live together in the future, fun things you could do together, and trips you could go on. Even more significant things like what your kids will look like or where you could go for your honeymoon are surefire signs of love! Your partner might also like to talk about the past—specifically their memories of your relationship so far. They might bring up the day you met, your first date, and other memories they hold dear because they love you.
If your partner suddenly starts dropping hints about how their parents would love to meet you or outright asks you to spend time with their friends and family, that’s a sign they love you! Your partner’s relationships may affect who they want you to meet. If they’re not on good terms with their parents or a particular family member, for example, they may only ask you to meet their friends.
Your partner shouldn’t criticize you all the time! Giving you a healthy amount of criticism just means that they know you inside and out and want to help you grow as a person. If they never argue with you or criticize you, then be on the lookout and ensure they truly love you instead of an ideal version of yourself. A certain amount of idealization is normal and even healthy. If your partner emphasizes your abilities over your inabilities, it could still be love! It’s only when idealization becomes unrealistic that problems arise.
Even when they truly love you, it doesn’t mean they’ll ask your opinion on everything. However, they’ll try to consult you on the things that matter.
Your loved one doesn’t have to shower you with compliments all the time. It’s the quality, not the quantity, that makes a difference!
Think about the times your partner says that they love you. Do they say it even when you haven’t said it first? Do they ask you for anything or say it for the simple pleasure of making you smile? If so, all signs point to love.
For example, a partner in love may go out of their way to be physically close to you when you’re together. They might rest a hand on your shoulder, put an arm around you, or hold your hand. Consider how often your partner shows affection. If they tend to gravitate towards you and touch you more often than not, it proves that they feel a connection to you.
If the person shares their deepest emotions with you and is comfortable with it, that could be love. If they’re comfortable not looking perfect, tripping, or having food stuck in their teeth around you, that means they’re okay with letting you see every side of them.
Study them to see where their eyes go when you’re with them or when you walk into a room. If it’s love, you’ll notice quickly that you’re the center of their attention! You may also notice they look at you with adoring “googly” eyes—essentially a wide-eyed, slightly dreamy look that says they’re definitely thinking about how much they love you.
The next time they’re grumpy or have a bad day, see how they react in your presence. You might notice their eyes light up or soften, and they may start smiling if they were frowning before. They’ll be positively giddy around you when they’re in a good mood! Your partner might seem hyper, excited, and on the verge of laughing for no reason whenever they’re around you.
Test your partner’s reaction when you ask them for help with a mundane project or errand. If they love you, they may at the chance to help and go the extra mile because they know that any time with you is well-spent.
