There are many organizations and groups out there for people looking to expand their social circle. It can be easier to talk to other people when you know they are there for the same reason you are. [4] X Research source If your workplace or friends are having a social event, offer to help. It will give you something to do at a party beyond trying to meet people. If a conversation seems to be running too long, you can always excuse yourself to deal with something party-related. [5] X Research source [6] X Research source If you have a hard time bringing yourself to go to social events, try giving yourself an informal quota. Give yourself space to do things socially, while also carving out time for yourself. That way you don’t have to feel guilty about going to events, or for turning down invitations. [7] X Research source
Take up space where you are. Keep your head up, sit straight, or take long strides. This makes you appear confident, someone people will want to talk to. Uncross your arms. Crossed arms is a classic “don’t talk to me” position. If your arms are open, you will appear more welcoming to people who might want to talk to you.
If you are attending an event, such as a lecture or a class, asking about the event is a good place to start. “What did you think of the talk?” can be effective, and it’s an interest you already share. If you are talking to an acquaintance, that is someone you know, but not particularly well, a vaguer question like “How are you?” would be appropriate. [11] X Research source If you’re talking to someone you’ve met before, try asking something personal, but not too personal, such as “What are some things you like to do on the weekend?” or “Do you have some favorite places around town?”
One way to help practicing is to copy the social skills of people you like or admire. Having an example to work off of can give you some clues about what to do in social settings. Get a more extroverted friend to be your “wingman. “[12] X Research source
When talking to someone new, be careful about diving into controversial topics. There is nothing wrong with being interested in topics like politics or religion, but plunging right into them right away can put people off. This is unless, of course, you have joined a group of people with a common perspective on these issues. [13] X Research source
Making plans for later is a good way to stay in touch, especially if they are concrete. Even if it doesn’t quite work out, it lets other people know you are open to meeting again, and may spur them on to other action. [15] X Research source Be specific when making plans. For example, rather than saying “We should hang out sometime,” say “Would you like to see the new Spielberg movie next Saturday afternoon?” This makes it more likely that you’ll follow through on your plans.
Refusing to communicate, through phone calls or other means, is not introversion. It could be shyness, or perhaps even depression, but those are not the same thing as introversion. [17] X Research source
