Take a book with you so you have something to do. It may seem counter-intuitive to take a book with you, but it could act as a conversation starter. [2] X Research source Find a restaurant that has a bar you can sit at. Bars are great for eating by yourself, but they also put you with others who may also be eating alone. It may be easier to strike up a conversation if you are eating around other people rather than sitting in a booth by yourself. [3] X Research source Explore your city. Start by finding the main streets and walk through some of the shops you find. Introduce yourself to the people there and let them know you are new in town. They may be able to help you find some things to do to get to know people.
If you’re still in school and trying to make new friends, joining a club is the way to go. You’re more likely to meet other kids who enjoy the same activities as you do if you find a club to join. Common interests and goals are an excellent foundation for friendship. [5] X Expert Source Alicia OglesbyProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 29 October 2020. [6] X Research source Groups that meet regularly offer consistency, making it easier to get to know people. Groups also offer a natural ice breaker. [7] X Expert Source Alicia OglesbyProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 29 October 2020. If you join a club or class, you will be forced to interact with people. This allows you to avoid all the stress of having to approach a new person and introduce yourself. [8] X Research source [9] X Research source Volunteer groups may also be a good way to meet people with similar interests. Volunteering is also an excellent way to practice social skills if you’re having trouble meeting people. [10] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Websites like Meetup. com and Craigslist may be able to help you find groups in your area. If you can’t find anything, you can always start your own. [11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Public libraries can also be a good source of information if you’re looking for events in the area. [13] X Research source When you go out to events, try to mingle a little bit. Make an effort to get to know other people at the event. Show an interest in other people rather than trying to make people interested in you. [14] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
If you’re at an event, look around you. See if you can spot anything unusual in the room. If there is art on the walls, comment on it. If the food is good (or bad) use that as a conversation starter. Your opening line doesn’t have to be anything grand, it just has to get the other person talking. [16] X Research source Try asking simple questions such as, “What brings you here,” or “How long have you lived here?” Don’t ask anything too personal, just aim for small talk in the beginning. [17] X Research source Introduce yourself as soon as you get a chance. A simple, “Hi, my name’s [first name],” followed by a handshake is a quick, easy greeting. If you aren’t sure if someone wants to talk to you, give a quick smile. If you get a return smile, walk over and introduce yourself. You can usually tell if someone isn’t interested in making conversation. If you try to approach someone and they give you quick responses, or they seem disinterested, leave them alone. [18] X Research source
Try not to fall into a routine of going to work and then going straight home. If you and a co-worker get off at the same time, put yourself out there and see if they want to hang out. [20] X Research source See if your company has any carpooling programs. If they don’t, see if anyone you work with is interested in sharing rides. Carpooling can be a great way to connect with people you work with. [21] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Listen to what the other person has to say. Remember little details about what they like, what’s going on in their life, and how they interact with others. [23] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Ask questions to show you’re interested in getting to know them. Ask things like, “What do you like to do in your spare time,” or “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Try to ask open ended questions that inspire conversation. [24] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Give them your full attention when you hang out, but make sure they return the favor. If it seems like they other person is not interested in you, then don’t try to force a connection. [25] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Don’t spend your time with anyone who tries to control or abuse you. Friendship is about positivity. You don’t always have to agree with your friends, but you should be able to respect each other. [27] X Expert Source Alicia OglesbyProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 29 October 2020. [28] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Do things with each other that put you outside of your comfort zone. Without some kind of vulnerability in your friendship, it may start to feel superficial. [30] X Research source
Don’t fake an interest in someone because you are craving social interaction. If you aren’t interested in being friends with someone, stop trying to connect with them. [32] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
If you’re a teen and you’re nervous about what to do with your new friends, talk to your parents about planning an outing. Try to get a few of your new friends together and go to the movies, or to the zoo. Ask your new friends for some suggestions. Think of activities that have a set beginning and end. Movies are great because you can relax, and you have something to talk about afterwards. [34] X Research source As you get more comfortable being around your new friends, get more creative with your plans. Do things that give you the opportunity to bond with your friends, such as a weekend camping trip.
Schedule time for your friends the same way you do for anything else. Make it part of your weekly routine to meet up with a friend. If you can’t make a weekly hang out happen, try for a monthly hang out. [36] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source When you hang out with a friend, don’t let the get together end without making future plans. Set a date to hang out again, and stick to it. [37] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Don’t treat rejection like it’s the end of the world. Keeping rejection in perspective will help you overcome it. You won’t like everyone you meet, and everyone you meet won’t like you. [39] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source When you encounter rejection, don’t let it keep you from going out. See if there is anything you can learn from the experience. [40] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Start with talking to people you interact with on a daily basis. For example, when you go to a coffee shop, talk with the clerk who takes your order. Ask something like, “How’s your day going?” Get used to making small talk with random people you see throughout your day. [42] X Research source If you’re in school, try talking with some of your classmates before and after class. Ask about things you’re interested in and see what kind of response you get. For example, you could ask someone, “Hey, did you see that episode of [favorite TV show] last night,” or “Have you ever heard of [favorite band]?” Questions about pop culture are good ways to start small talk, and could lead to good conversation. As you practice talking to people, speak with confidence and try to make eye contact. Even if it feels unnatural at first, keep doing it. You want to get used to this kind of behavior so that the next time you go out, talking to people will seem easier. [43] X Research source
