If you love to draw, for instance, you could register for an art class, attend art shows, or look for people who are doodling during math class. If you’re a passionate reader, join a book club, go to public readings, or strike up a conversation with someone who carries novels around with their textbooks. Ask your favorite teachers if they can recommend any academic clubs for you to join! These can include debate teams, clubs for entrepreneurs, or a math quiz team.
When you’re around someone, you should feel comfortable acting like yourself around them. A friend should never make you feel bad for being who you are. You may be interested in befriending some of the most popular people in school, but if they are disrespectful to you or to others, they probably won’t be a true friend. You should feel like the other person supports and respects you.
For instance, you could have your friends start meeting once a week at a local pizza place after school. Each week, encourage your friends to invite as many of their mutual friends as they want. By making it a regular occurrence, you can build new friendships gradually. You could also attend group events like flag football games or even study groups to meet new people.
It might sound crazy, but if you’re trying to make new friends, give this a try the next time you see groups of people chatting in the hall, at a party, or at a social event.
You don’t have to be great at sports to play intramurals. Intramurals could be anything from soccer and flag football to frisbee, golf, and dodgeball. Mostly, they’re designed to be a great way to have a good time, get some exercise, and gain a whole new team of friends.
Afterschool social events might include school dances, movie nights, mixers, and plays. If you attend sporting events, not only will you build a bond with the other students cheering on the team, but the athletes may appreciate the fact that you came out to support them, especially if it’s a team that doesn’t draw a huge crowd. It can sometimes help to invite someone else to go with you to an event like this, since sitting by yourself can be lonely. Just pick someone you’d like to get to know better and say something like, “Hey, Stephen, I was thinking of the baseball game tonight, do you want to go with me?” Even if they can’t go to that particular event, they’ll remember that you asked them, and they’ll be more likely to consider you as a friend.
Talking to other people during the day doesn’t have to involve long conversations with someone you don’t know well. It could be as simple as saying something like, “How are you today?” when you’re standing near someone at your locker, or “Hey, I liked your presentation!” after someone does a good job giving a speech in class. If you feel stuck in a routine that keeps you from interacting with people, try changing things up. For instance, you could try taking a new hall to get to class, which will give you a chance to interact with people you might not see otherwise.
If you are wearing headphones when you are walking around, it can give off the impression that you don’t want to talk to anyone. Leave them out if you want to focus on making new friends. Don’t spend so much time following celebs on Insta that you forget to participate in your own life!
If there is music playing, for instance, try saying something like, “I love this song, don’t you? I’m Jessica!” At lunch, choose something off your lunch plate that is tasty and mention to someone at your table how great of a job the cafeteria did today.
This comes in handy in situations like sitting with a new group at lunch or being surrounded by others at a sporting event. Consider asking a question of the entire group rather than just one person. For instance, if the group is talking about an upcoming dance, you could say something like, “I think they should hire a DJ for the next dance. Wouldn’t that be awesome?”[11] X Research source
If you see someone who is wearing a T-shirt featuring your favorite band, you could say something like, “Hey, awesome shirt! I saw them in concert last summer!”
For instance, if you started off by talking about a song that’s playing, you might say something like, “What other bands do you like, to listen to?” You could also say something like, “I haven’t gone to school here very long. What are the best clubs to join?”
Text the person when you want to invite them to do something, or to check in with them to see how they did on their test or if they won a game. However, avoid texting more than once every few days, especially when you’re just getting to know the person. Call them when you want to reach out on a more personal level. Texting is more casual, but a phone call is nice for a special occasion like the person’s birthday, or if you want to check on the person because they have missed several days of school. [15] X Trustworthy Source Pew Research Center Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends Go to source
For instance, if you are both into the arts, maybe there is a gallery, museum, play, or band you could go see. Invite your new friend to a movie you both want to see. If there is something you really want to see, ask if they would like to go with you. If you have time, plan to spend time together after the movie so you have a chance to talk about it. Coffee shops are a great place to sit and chat about the movie and anything else it made you think of.
You only have to smile for a second or 2 when you meet someone’s eyes. Smiling at them for too long without saying anything might seem a little odd.
Other ways to have open body language include keeping your head up and making eye contact with people when you’re talking to them. You may also want to consider wearing brighter colored clothing. Not only will it make you seem more approachable, but it could actually affect your mood and make you happier. [18] X Research source
Always treat other people the way you want them to treat you. Practicing the golden rule is key to cultivating a compassionate, long-lasting friendship. Encourage the other person. Let them know that you believe in them and support their achievements in their school work and their life goals. [20] X Research source
For instance, if you text someone and they only text back a one-word answer, they might be busy or in a bad mood. Try to talk to them again in a few days and see if they’re more receptive to chatting.
Chances are, the other person will really appreciate that you took the time to talk to them.
For instance, even if you have a big test coming up, pick a day of the week to set your books aside and play video games with a friend. Then, study all of the other days. Not only will this build your friendship, but taking time to relax might even help you on your test!
Consider that the other person may be having a hard time right now and is not open to being friendly at the moment. [22] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Understand that the rejection may have more to do with who the other person is than it has to do with you. [23] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Other people are usually just as concerned about themselves as you are. They probably aren’t thinking about you and judging you as much as you think, because they are preoccupied with themselves. [25] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Don’t focus on perfection. You don’t have to be perfect to be a good friend. [26] X Research source Focus on your personal achievements instead of comparing yourself to others. [27] X Research source
