Even if your friend says something mean that hurts your feelings, try not to get pulled into the argument again. Tell yourself they’re just lashing out and let it go.
Slowly inhale through your nose, then exhale through your mouth. Repeat this several times, focusing on calming yourself more with each breath. Other things to help you calm down might include a peaceful walk outside, quiet meditation, or eating ice cream right out of the container. Whatever it is, take a little time to clear your head.
Have you been feeling stressed out or irritable lately? This may have played a role in your behavior. Was your friend trying to communicate something to you that you brushed off? You may have hurt their feelings, leading to the argument.
Even if you share your feelings with a close friend, word could get back to the friend you’re fighting with.
The amount of time this will take is different for everyone. Some friends will make up 5 minutes after an argument, while other friends may need months to recover from hurtful words.
You’ll know you’re ready to apologize when you don’t feel angry anymore, or when you care more about getting your friend back then you do about what they said or did that might have hurt your feelings.
Even if your friend isn’t ready to apologize in return, you should apologize when you’re ready. Just ask them to listen and explain what you’re sorry for.
Try starting the conversation by saying something like, “I really miss talking to you after class,” or “I feel really bad about the things I said and I’d like to apologize in person. ” If your friend isn’t ready to talk, try giving them a little more time. You could also send a hand-written apology note with an invitation to get together and talk more in person.
If you know you hurt your friend’s feelings, apologize for what you said. Say something like, “I’m really sorry I called you stupid. I respect you way more than that and my words were careless and rude. ” You might say, “I’m sorry that I waited so long to call you after the fight,” if you honestly don’t think the argument was your fault.
You could say something like, “I was feeling stressed out already that day and I lost my temper, and I shouldn’t have done that” or “I felt really frustrated when you weren’t listening to me, but I shouldn’t have snapped at you. ” Don’t make excuses for your behavior. It’s okay to explain how you were feeling, but be sure to take responsibility for your words and actions.
If your friend doesn’t apologize, ask yourself whether it’s more important to hear them say they’re sorry or to have your friend back.
If your friend is still mad, ask what you can do to make it better. If they give you an answer, try to do that. If they say nothing, your friend may need more time, or they may want to end the friendship. [11] X Research source Try to be patient with your friend as they take the time to heal after your argument. They may need more time than you do, and that’s okay.
If you’ve made up, leave with a big hug and plans to hang out soon. If your friend is still upset, close the conversation by saying something like, “I still love you and I’ll be here if you want to talk. ”
