If you know you have herpes and do not inform a sexual partner, this can not only hurt your relationship, but there may be legal ramifications as well: you can be sued for negligence or personal injury if you. Herpes is nothing to be ashamed of, but you need to be honest with your partners so they can make an informed decision and protect their own health. Write down or verbalize any negative feelings and thoughts you have about having herpes. Then, challenge where those negative feelings are coming from and replace them with more positive thoughts. [4] X Research source Focus on the present. Do not think of the worst case scenario or dwell in your negative emotions. Instead of saying, “My life is over because I have herpes,” try saying, “I am living right now, even though I have herpes,” or, “I am many things. Having herpes is only one part of my life. “[5] X Research source
Continue to live the life you had before you were diagnosed. Make sure that you spend time doing things that you enjoy and make time for your family and friends. Doing simple things like taking a walk or reading a book can help you feel more positive about yourself.
You are still the same person you were before you were diagnosed. People that care for you will not stop just because you have herpes. It may take time before you are comfortable talking to another person about your diagnosis. Have the conversation when you are ready.
You would never be upset with yourself for catching a cold or getting the flu. Anyone could contract herpes, and you should not beat yourself up about it. You are not a stupid person, and herpes does not have to define your life. Try thinking of how you would talk to your friend if they told you they were diagnosed with herpes. Forgive yourself and treat yourself with kindness. Write down exactly what you want to forgive yourself for to work through your anger. Cut up or burn this letter to symbolize that you are letting all of it go.
Acknowledge any anger or resentment you feel. Talk about it or write it down. Try writing a letter to the person who gave you herpes to process your feelings and then burn the letter. [10] X Research source The burning of the letter is symbolic of you letting the anger and resentment go. If you are having trouble with forgiveness, you should seek help from a therapist to work through your feelings.
Professional therapy can help you feel less lonely and improve your mood. Group therapy will also allow you to meet other people who have herpes. Cognitive behavioral stress management will help you focus on how your thoughts affect your emotions and behaviors. Participating in this type of therapy can help you feel less depressed and can improve your body’s immune function. [12] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Deep breathing, yoga, meditation, and walking outside are good ways to reduce stress. You should find an activity that you enjoy to help you relieve. You should practice stress management regularly and try to incorporate it into your daily life. [15] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Getting enough sleep is also important for keeping your stress levels down.
Your doctor will let you know how often you should take your medication. Some people only take medication when they are experiencing symptoms while others take medication everyday. [17] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
You can start the conversation by saying, “I would like to talk to you about something. I found out that I was diagnosed with the herpes virus. It is very common, but I would like to talk to you about ways we can have safe sex. . . “[19] X Research source In addition, your new partner should be tested for the virus — before you have sex. It is very possible your partner has it too, but doesn’t know. Some people may have a negative reaction when you tell them that you have herpes. Try not to become defensive and let the other person calm down and work through what you have told them. [20] X Research source They may be willing to deal with it and they may not. Know that you will be okay either way. Being honest about having herpes can help build trust in a relationship.
